Once I was a slave to learning. Reading. Then I stroked a caterpillar. It rolled over on its back and started to sing “Volare.” The little ones near me shrieked. They didn’t understand the tender mercies of my massive intellect. Who could blame them? My spiritual gravitas scared me too! (LOL ROTFLMAO / sarc / not! / LOL!!!) As I grew older and even wiser I turned away from all temporal existence, choosing instead to live in a state of pure awareness. I was four. This is when I first bi-located. I had always been a fan of St. John. What can I say? I liked his moves. And I knew that if I were going to transubstantiate by my 12th birthday, which was the goal given me by a womb shaman named Chapes, I needed to start simple and work my way up. And so I bifurcated my being, sending one half to Galgotha and the other half to the Burger King in Destin. I’m always good for a Whopper
(Stay tuned for Chapter 3. Childhood turns to adolescence turns to adulthood turns to unemployment. It’ll change your life.)
March 12, 2013 at 10:00am
Chapter 1: INSPIRED TO SEEK INSPIRATION FROM THE INSPIRER
Those who want want not. Those who need need not. Those who plead plead not. Those who plant plant not. Those who reap reap not. Those who drive drive not. Those who sleep sleep not. Those who strive strive not. Those who promise promise promise not. Those who struggle struggle not. Those who write write not . . . Why can’t we all just get a along?