User Profile: DORA_GASBAG

DORA_GASBAG

Member Since: March 20, 2013

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  • October 8, 2013 at 8:13pm

    The governmental shutdown has been quite detrimental to my business. I used to sell a lot of product to earthy people at the national parks. I’m not sure about Obamacare, KEATS says its great, but I just don’t know. What I do know is that I’m offended by your name. I love Spam. If you toast your bread just right and then add just a touch of brandy to the can o’ Spam before you spread it on good and thick, it is to die for. My dads use to give me a dollar on Saturday afternoon to ride my bike down to the Food 4 Less on Virginia Way. I would always buy a can of Spam and bring it home for spam toast while I watched WWF. I loved to watch Superfly Snuka, he reminded me a lot of my grandma on my mom’s side. I still have my bike. The basket has a hole in it, but everything else works fine.

  • October 8, 2013 at 8:06pm

    I love Spam. If you toast your bread just right and then add just a touch of brandy to the can o’ Spam before you spread it on good and thick, it is to die for. My dads use to give me a dollar on Saturday afternoon to ride my bike down to the Food 4 Less on Virginia Way. I would always buy a can of Spam and bring it home for spam toast while I watched WWF. I loved to watch Superfly Snuka, he reminded me a lot of my grandma on my mom’s side. I still have my bike. The basket has a hole in it, but everything else works fine.

  • October 8, 2013 at 7:52pm

    Speaking of buritos, last weekend KEATS came over to the trailer for a Friday night delight: Frozen burritos with a little melted cheese on top, dipped in ketchup with a Tom & Jerry re-run marathon. We were talking about this very thing, what we would ask Mr. Obama if he ever came over to the trailer to share an El Monterey Beef N Cheese family pack with us. I decided I would take him out back to the shed, yes the one that has blown up twice now (still waiting on that insurance payment Allstate!). I would show him the corner of the shed where two of my “delivery boys” have to sleep now cause business is slow. Then I thought I would take him down and show him the KFC here in town. I like the new boneless chicken, but I’m sure Mr. Obama wouldn’t go for that, I know he likes the bone, and the bigger the better. My dads are on a vacation this week. They packed up their Subaru Brat and went off to San Diego for one last summer blast. They like SeaWorld, they think they look so cool walking around fish in their fishnet wife beater shirts. Someday I’m going to move out of this trailer. There’s got to be more for me than Barstow.

  • October 5, 2013 at 12:10pm

    Hey, I’m Dora Gasbag!

  • May 4, 2013 at 3:28pm

    Farewell BLAZE and goodbye BLAZERS. The censorship here is more than I can tolerate. I don’t know if the problem is with the BLAZE censors or if the problem is simply prudish readers who can’t handle a little humor and who report every comment made here, but either way, I’m done. For a site that promotes liberty and freedom, this one is a joke. Adios.

    Responses (14) +
  • May 4, 2013 at 3:18pm

    Anyone notice all of the posts just go away?

  • May 4, 2013 at 2:56pm

    HEY MONK: I typed in a story about my mom’s back hair, but apparently it was just too extreme for the BLAZE censor. What a piece of work this site is.

  • May 4, 2013 at 2:14pm

    HEY SURFY: As you know, KEATS is up to 315 pounds. She can barely squeeze through my trailer door when she comes over on Friday night. I was putting on a few pounds myself. I saw this picture on one of the BLAZE ads and thought it was nice. So I rode my bicycle down to the KMart and bought a PX90. Someday I’m going to have a rear end just like this chick in the picture. I’m glad Glen allows such nice pictures in the advertisements here on the BLAZE. Although I am confused because sometimes completely harmless comments are removed from the BLAZE, yet we are bombarded by advertisements with pictures like this one with some sexy chick’s rear end hanging out. Can you help me understand that? It makes no sense to me, but then, I live in a trailer in Barstow and grow hydroponic pot for a living.

  • May 4, 2013 at 1:05pm

    Well, as far as i can tell, one difference would be that the occupants of the white house would be chewing their tobaccy rather than smoking it. Like I said before, the chew juice running off my grandma’s chin whiskers just turned me off to the whole idea.

  • May 4, 2013 at 1:02pm

    Dont get me started on home grown products. Ive been trying to get my “business” off the ground for a few years now. The explosion in my shed behind my trailer set me back some, but I think I’ve turned the corner. I’m also thinking of adding a potato salad to my list of “products”. And, if I can figure out how KFC does that boneless chicken, I’m going to look into that as well. How the hell do those chickens walk around the yard with no bones?

    Responses (4) +
  • May 4, 2013 at 12:35pm

    HEY DLV. Is that a light saber you have? Those are awesome.

  • May 4, 2013 at 12:33pm

    HEY THERE BULLDOG. Thanks for noticing my butt. I usually use my real picture but this picture was an ad on THEBLAZE a few days ago and I liked it so much, I thought I would use it for a few days. I’m hoping if my P90X works out, I can start to look like this picture. Maybe if KEATS would lay off the frozen burritos, she could trim down too.

  • May 4, 2013 at 11:48am

    HEY VOICE. I think I like you. You sound really smart, like my best girlfriend KEATON and my other best girlfriend VERCEOFREASON. They really know a lot. KEATON even graduated from highschool, at least that’s what she told me. Do you know them?

  • May 4, 2013 at 11:45am

    And why is Palin flipping me off in that top picture. Its just makes a bad day worse. I didn’t ever flip you off, Sarah. When KFC opens, I’m going to walk down and get me a boneless piece of chicken.

  • May 4, 2013 at 11:42am

    But MIB, she looks so nice in her polyester pant suits. In fact, I went to buy one just last week so I could look just like her, but the blue light sale at KMart was over when I got there so I had to settle for another tube top and pair of cotton shorty shorts.

  • May 4, 2013 at 11:36am

    Saturday morning in Barstow. A dog barking in the distance. My neighbor in the next trailer yelling at her kids. My neighbor on the side with her TV turned up so high my windows are shaking. The bottle of vodka from last night is empty and the front tire on my bicycle is flat.

    Responses (2) +
  • May 3, 2013 at 8:55pm

    I’m sorry SCOTT but if you know me, you know how serious I am about being serious about seriously solving our serious problems. I just think there is way too much goofing around.

  • May 3, 2013 at 8:51pm

    HI MONKEE. When KEATS and I were in high school together she was on the rugby team. Have you ever seen a pack of pimply faced teenaged boys try to tackle a 315 pound girl with a flat-top and a goatee? I loved watching those games.

  • May 3, 2013 at 8:48pm

    Oopsie, that should be “What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?” I should stop drinking before I get on here.

  • May 3, 2013 at 8:43pm

    How do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

    You walk him and pitch to the rhino.

    FYI: I posted this same joke yesterday and THE BLAZE removed it. Anyone care to explain why?