My dads both spend a lot of time down at the Funky Chicken, the local gay bar. There are hundreds of gay guys who hang out there. One night out of curiosity, my dads conducted a poll and asked the happy drinkers there if they were born gay or if they chose to be gay, like them. As it turns out, the dirty little secret in the gay community is that none of them are “born gay”. They just say that make you feel sympathy for them, like its some sort of hardship they must carry with them. In reality, they are all just perverts who like doing weird things to each other. Take it from the 297 gays who took my dads’ survey at the Funky Chicken. And, no my dads are not bisexual, they just like the attention of being “gay”.
January 27, 2014 at 8:37pm
My aunt lives in Maine. She has a beard.
January 27, 2014 at 8:30pm
Hi catty. I had a great time wih you and Keat last Friday. I hope we can do it again. :)
January 27, 2014 at 8:26pm
Actually, ephabatobe, both of my dads chose to be gay. They just like the pretty clothes and the flamboyant hand gestures. Deep down inside, they long for the companionship of a female but each one knows he would only be hurt again by some heartless tramp. So they go on wearing their biker shorts and fish net wife beater shirts, and putting on the whole gay attitude. Its a cultural thing for them, not born with it in any way, shape or form.
January 27, 2014 at 8:13pm
Its a wholesome cartoon, well except when Tom gets his tail and/or head blown off, but that’s funny.
January 27, 2014 at 8:10pm
Deeper, you’re one strange guy. How could you be DORA when I’m DORA? That makes no sense. Have you been taking samples from my shed? If so, stop it. Stop it!
Its a wholesome cartoon, well except when Tom gets his tail and/or head blown off, but that's funny.
A cross breed homosexual relationship?
No, not the gay Tom and Jerry made for tv cartoons where they are pals, the real Tom and Jerry cartoons form the 40s and 50s where they try to kill each other as is right and proper.
The only good gay kids cartoon is Jonny Quest, because one of his two dads was an ex-spook who knew how to kill people.
January 27, 2014 at 8:06pm
Oh hi Archon. all I know is my sister who lives in NYC is five feet tall, 245 pounds has spiky hair and a spider tattoo. She wears camouflage pants and biker boots and a wife beater shirt with a picture of a local bar sign that says “Liquor in the front. Poker in the back” Some of you might know my sister, she posts comments here once in a while and goes by the name charles116.
January 27, 2014 at 8:01pm
Well, as it turns out, my dads had gone down to the “adult fun store” and picked up a few items, including a stripper pole. They installed it while I was gone to KFC and then turned out all the lights in the trailer so the neighbors couldn’t see them swinging on the pole through the sheer curtains. I’m not really sure what was more frightening, a real live ghost or the mental image I have of my dads swinging on a stripper pole wearing nothing but their matching green thongs and pink feather boas. I need another drink.
January 27, 2014 at 7:40pm
Sorry folks, but Taylor and his two moms live three doors down from me and that ain’t what they look like. Some of you may recall that when Keats comes over for frozen burritos on Friday nights, I have to grease up the doorway just to slide her through. Taylor’s moms make Keats look like a Barbie doll with a spike butch haircut.
How is that relevant to the morality of homosexuality? Are ugly straight couples immoral (I've seen more than a few)?
Oh hi Archon. all I know is my sister who lives in NYC is five feet tall, 245 pounds has spiky hair and a spider tattoo. She wears camouflage pants and biker boots and a wife beater shirt with a picture of a local bar sign that says "Liquor in the front. Poker in the back" Some of you might know my sister, she posts comments here once in a while and goes by the name charles116.
Yes, but we didn't know she was that large, BTW I thought your sister was large Marge on the huff blo or maybe that' keats hiding over there??
Lol. Someone has to, of all things, pick on someone's looks, just to make them feel better. Hahaha. You sound like a 3rd grade bully. That's right, a 3rd grader. Who are you to judge how someone looks, dresses, what weight they are? That has nothing to do with anything. I can only imagine how you must look.
 January 27, 2014 at 7:30pm
So about 6 months ago I finished up working out in the “manufacturing plant” I operate in the shed out in the back yard behind my trailer. It was about 8:30 p.m. and I was quite hungry. I rode my pedal bike down to the KFC and picked up a box of boneless chicken and a bucket of smashed potatoes. I got home about 10:00 p.m. and the trailer was dark and still. I turned on the tv to watch a few episodes of George Lopez (that wife of his on that show is so hot) while I ate my boneless chicken and potatoes. Of course, I had to wash it down with something so I grabbed the closest thing I could find, a bottle of Svedka. The only light in the trailer was glowing from the screen on my 14 inch tv. After I got about half through my pile of boneless chicken breasts and half way through my bottle of Svedka, the trailer started shaking. It started slow but increasingly became more and more violent. Then I started hearing moaning and groaning and all sorts of hellish pain filled sounds. I was so terrified I huddled in the corner next to the lizard cage and even wet myself a little. Soon the trailer settled down and the noises stopped. But I couldn’t move. The glow of George Lopez shifted in the room. Suddenly, the door to my dads’ bedroom flung open. I screeched in horror. I’m not sure if I can go on with my story, I’m shaking as I type.
Gee, I'm laughing my ass off as I listen to your story, please finish, my pizza is almost ready.
Well, as it turns out, my dads had gone down to the "adult fun store" and picked up a few items, including a stripper pole. They installed it while I was gone to KFC and then turned out all the lights in the trailer so the neighbors couldn't see them swinging on the pole through the sheer curtains. I'm not really sure what was more frightening, a real live ghost or the mental image I have of my dads swinging on a stripper pole wearing nothing but their matching green thongs and pink feather boas. I need another drink.
Please continue with your story it is so funny!
Hahahahahaha, I needed a good laugh.
I got the video right here. It's hilarious.
ROFLMAO! You need to change careers and go into standup comedy, I will fund you, promote you and VOLUNTARILY be your manager. I was wondering were you in the military? I thought we were the only sick bastards with this kind of humor. Rock on!
Sounds like "The Lust Lizzard from Melancholy Bay" to me
Very funny, but many many honest people out there who do not seek any type of attention have directly experienced supernatural events and happenings, some positive, many negative. Not wanting to believe isn't going to make it all go away - you will die one day and then be forced to deal with it, and intentional ignorance (ignorance is a lack of knowledge, not stupidity - I'm not calling you stupid) won't be an excuse before God. Given what's at stake, it would be inexcusable to not investigate. Versus eternity, can you take a few afternoons to read a book or two? A good start is "The Reason For God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism" by Keller, and "I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist" by Geisler. Please look at both sides of the issue - don't confuse what you want to believe or disbelieve with what actual, independent-of-you reality is.
"since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened." - Romans 1:19-21
January 24, 2014 at 8:48pm
catty, are you coming or not? I finally got the door greased up enough to get Keats through and we are just waiting for you. The tuna is getting cold. Please hurry.
Well, Keats is here beating on my door. I better go get out the Crisco and grease up the door so I can slide her into the trailer. Good night my Blaze friends (the only real friends I have). I love you guys.
January 24, 2014 at 8:14pm
Mr. Fooby, I don’t think my dad has a boyfriend. At least I hope he doesn’t, otherwise his “husband” is going to be in a twist. Last night I sat in my bed until 2 a.m. listening to those two giggling like school girls. They like to dress up in their old prom dresses and dance around the living room while listening to the Alphaville channel on pandora. I’m glad they can enjoy themselves but I need some sleep.
January 24, 2014 at 8:10pm
Oh my. I’m sorry Blaze people. I had no idea “h o o k e r” was an offensive word. I’ll try my darndest to clean up my potty mouth from now on.
January 24, 2014 at 8:06pm
I don’t know who Uncle Sugar is, but I do have an Uncle Larry. He’s my dad’s brother. Not my real dad, but my real dad’s “husband”. Uncle Larry lives in West Hollywood. He wears the best outfits when he comes to visit. Sometimes I ask if I can borrow his shoes, cause I really like those high heel hooker shoes, they make my legs look really nice, at least that’s what Keats told me last time. Anyway, I haven’t wore high heels since last month when I had to ride my bicycle to the liquor store one Saturday morning and crashed into a pole at the intersection of Barstow and Rimrock. Everyone was laughing at me and I felt bad. People are mean.
January 24, 2014 at 7:55pm
Mr. prov, where have you been? You know I don’t live in New York. I have a sister who lives in New York. Are you confusing us? She’s much shorter, much more pudgy and has spikey hair. I, on the other hand, prefer to present myself as a lady. I sure hope catty gets back with me, I know she likes her tuna hot and steaming. And,I have to agree. There really is nothing worse than cold frigid tuna on a Friday night.
January 24, 2014 at 7:50pm
Oh, S.E. Cupp. Many a night have I dreamed, in a drunken stupor, of your cupps running over. Those glasses drive me absolutely insane. I want to crawl up a wall.
At the 43 sec. mark of the video Wolf introduces S.E. as "S.E. Cupps" was that a slip by him or a verbal sexual harassment obviously talking about her chest?? It's S.E. Cupp Wolffy.
Bye Dora, hope you fixed that leak on the shed...
I'd love to be a kid again,and have S.E. as my teacher.Between the brains and the sex appeal,she'd have made me a happy boy.And those glasses....
She's a dish, and sitting next to the transgender person presents one with an astonishing world view, as seen by, "if I had a son I would let him have gender re-assignment" potus maximus. But I digress, if you say its on, they say its off.
Dora from Barstow. The best gal in Cali.
January 24, 2014 at 7:45pm
Hey there catty poo. Keats will be here in about 45 minutes. Are you coming over tonight? I picked up a carton of frozen burritos at the Costo this afternoon. I have beef and cheese and I know how much you love the spicy tuna. Anyway, let me know so I know how many to throw on the cookie sheet.
OH.....Dora ! You've done it again........(clean-up on the keyboard).
Mr. prov, where have you been? You know I don't live in New York. I have a sister who lives in New York. Are you confusing us? She's much shorter, much more pudgy and has spikey hair. I, on the other hand, prefer to present myself as a lady. I sure hope catty gets back with me, I know she likes her tuna hot and steaming. And,I have to agree. There really is nothing worse than cold frigid tuna on a Friday night.
Yes, you do present yourself as a lady !
Your avatar is proof.
Tell your "dads" albacore is the way to go.
Dora...I am saddened by your neglect......some other time?
January 24, 2014 at 2:25pm
Try riding a bicycle like me. My front end basket can only hold so many bottles when I shop at the liquor store. Some days I have to make multiple trips.