User Profile: freelancer91


Member Since: November 07, 2011

CommentsDisplaying comments newest to oldest.

  • January 8, 2014 at 7:27pm

    I look forward to choice of energy drink and political party correlation studies. This chart is interesting, but I don’t drink at all so they kinda missed me……

  • January 8, 2014 at 7:19pm

    One of the largest consumers of Henessey Cognac was Kim Jong Il. That seems pretty telling to me….

  • December 29, 2013 at 5:31am

    I’m only 22, but I’m gonna top this by the time I die. Especially if you count my bi-weekly platelet donations.

  • December 23, 2013 at 5:56am

    Sometimes I wonder if watching a lot of British TV growing up has broken my accent a bit. Top Gear alone has accounted for me using exclusively British terms when describing cars…..

  • December 14, 2013 at 1:59am

    I’d leave a few carelessly placed oil drums and some contact paper at the point of impact. Optionally, you can put up a sign to warn drivers of firey death…

  • November 16, 2013 at 8:20am

    He actually expects us to believe he didn’t know that “c*cksucking ***” was offensive to gay people? Least sincere apology ever.

    Responses (1) +
  • November 5, 2013 at 1:42pm

    ears #thatisall

  • November 5, 2013 at 1:40pm

    That is the best football uniform I have ever seen. End of story.

  • September 23, 2013 at 2:15pm

    I miss the Murcielago. If that had a crash like that, you’d be dead, but it’d be in a really huge fireball. What a way to go…

  • September 13, 2013 at 5:47am

    I have some mind-blowing advice: Drink when you’re thirsty!

    It’s almost as if your body knows when it needs water.

  • August 29, 2013 at 5:34pm

    I’m a single guy. I only own one bedsheet and blanket. I do laundry on the only night I don’t work: Tuesday. I usually try to wash the sheet and blanket then. Because I sleep during the day, it is always hotter and I sweat a lot more.

  • August 12, 2013 at 2:49am

    If there were ever a call to nominate people for a government sanctioned kill-list, I’d sign this guy up…..

  • July 12, 2013 at 7:59am

    What a thoroughly stupid man. It’s okay to object to searches of your vehicle, but don’t give the officers a hard time. They are there to do a job. They don’t get a choice. Let them search and then take it up with the courts.

    That being said, I’m not sure I would have smashed the window if I were in that guards position. At the very least, I would have given warning…

  • June 9, 2013 at 2:55pm

    That tattoo looks like it would rub off if I coughed on it. Also, don’t let Apple do your authentication tattoo because a year later they would come out with another version that has like 1 new feature and a completely incompatible interface, rendering your tattoo obsolete like those old 30 pin connectors…..

  • June 9, 2013 at 2:52pm

    Passwords are not THAT difficult to remember. Unless you’re an idiot, or something…

  • June 7, 2013 at 3:35pm

    I love stuff like this. I’m not an English major, but I love learning how diverse the English language is. Part of me wants to move out of Central Illinois to some far off place where they speak completely differently just so I can have an accent. Chicks dig accents…..

  • May 27, 2013 at 4:40pm

    Its difficult to be sure, but I think during the lightning round, they were alternating left and right. I think I did find the smaller ones easier to focus on, but then this shouldn’t come as a shock. In the 3rd grade, I was subjected to an IQ test administered in my elementary school’s office. The test was administered by a live person (not one of this idiotic internet ones) and I was the only one taking the test (or so I am led to believe). I am proud to say that I scored 139. I wish I had the full results for that test. Perhaps they are in my medical records.

    Responses (1) +
  • May 25, 2013 at 12:24pm

    I wonder what happens to your hair if you drink 2-3 gallons of milk a week like I do. I rarely drink so and NEVER drink alcohol. If I live a long time, I’m gonna credit my beverage choices.

    Responses (1) +
  • May 25, 2013 at 12:20pm

    I had always wondered about that name. Fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 will no doubt remember some of their latter riffs involved Joe Estevez movies like Soul Taker and Werewolf. Joe Estevez was a hilariously bad actor and was also the brother of Martin Sheen. Mike and the Bots often used this fact in their riffs.

    Responses (6) +
  • May 24, 2013 at 6:32pm

    When I was a little kid, I saw a show on TV that had a man with a jet pack. The show explained that the jet pack worked by injecting hydrogen peroxide onto a platinum mesh. I was immediately inspired to design my own jet pack. Somewhere, I’m sure my parents kept a few of my diagrams. I even branched out into designing what was essentially a rocket powered go-cart. Probably best that I couldn’t afford any of that stuff at the time or I would probably be in a full body cast…

    Responses (2) +