User Profile: OLDBIKEFIXER

OLDBIKEFIXER

Member Since: February 17, 2011

Comments

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  • [1] November 6, 2014 at 10:25am

    Seriously, mustaches without a beard? Thanks, but no. Men with only mustaches make most people think of villains from old movies. Even in most episodes of The Three Stooges, the bad guys (remember “Hammond Egger?) always had mustaches, but no beards.

    Speaking of facial hair, what’s with the trend of men growing a 3 or 4 day growth of nasty looking stubble, then trimming it to stay that way? When I first started watching “House”, I kept asking myself “if Hugh Laurie is playing the part of a doctor, why is he made up to look like a homeless wino?” And then there’s that 70′s throwback / homeless looking dolt who does the TV commercials for some travel agency called “Trivago”… he looks like he hasn’t shaved for a few days with his graying chin stubble, and his half-unbuttoned shirt just screams “my other outfit is a white leisure suit”.

    So guys, either grow a proper beard or shave your face clean. Mustaches are “out”, and so is the 3-day wino stubble.

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  • [1] October 23, 2014 at 10:39am

    “…disorders such as obesity increase as well.” Hmmm… maybe this explains the huge (pun intended) increase in the number of fat chicks these days. First, Dove soap was catering to fat girls, and now, Kellogg’s “Special K” cereal has a commercial with a bunch of fat chicks trying on jeans with no sizes marked on the tags, and somebody with a measuring tape with words such as “radiant” and “intriguing” instead of numbers on it.

    So guys, when you’re sitting at the bar, and there are nothing but obese women there, waiting for you to put on your beer-goggles, just realize that it’s not the quantity of food these girls are constanly stuffing into their faces, it’s those darned cash register receipts that are making your Friday nights less and less appealing.

  • October 23, 2014 at 9:39am

    “…the car, powered by a parachute…” Wow, now there is parachute power! How do the eco-weenies feel about parachute power? Is parachute power a renewable energy source, and does it leave a nasty carbon footprint? So many questions!

    I have a ’72 Maverick sitting out in my “field of broken dreams” (and a couple Pintos, too!). I’m gonna attach a parachute to that rusted away old Maverick and see if I can get some new life out of it.

    Okay, sarcasm off… Some people are just to stupid for words, and should never be allowed to post on publicly viewed websites, or speak without supervision.

  • [14] October 22, 2014 at 12:21pm

    These children are going to grow up to be really mentally screwed-up adults. Buy hey, that’s okay, because Obamacare (that translates to “the American taxpayers”) will foot the bill for their psychiatric treatment and / or transgender surgery.

  • [19] October 22, 2014 at 11:43am

    Nobody I know can throw a baseball-sized rock more than maybe 60 or 70 yards. If there were people within rock-throwing distance of this guy, didn’t he get a look at them? If somebody was throwing rocks at my children, I would be hot on their heels, cell phone in hand, with 911 one button press away.

    Something ain’t quite kosher here… remember Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, Jerry Falwell, or any of the other dozens of big-time preachers who eventually got exposed as frauds? Makes me think of that Rolling Stones song “Far Away Eyes”. Why do these preachers need all that money that they’re always begging for? For all the (tax exempt) donations, which by now must add up to trillions of dollars that have been sent to them, one would expect the entire world, along with most neighboring planets, would be blessed and cured by The Lord’s grace and salvation.

    As a Born Again Christian, I believe that all of the big-time evangelists and preachers are frauds and will burn in Hell, along with their piles of cash… especially that Joel guy who always has that goofy-looking smile. Is it just me, or does he remind anyone else of “Church Lady” from Saturday Night Live?

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  • [1] October 22, 2014 at 10:19am

    Ten grand for a glorified skateboard? Thanks, but for $10K, I can buy a running DeLorean, DVD ‘s of all 3 “Back to the Future” movies, and enough beer and potato chips to keep me happy while I add 20 lbs. of fat to my butt by sitting on my couch watching movies all day.

    In the movie (which is wonderful!), the “Hoverboard” was a child’s toy. $10K is a bit much for a child’s toy. Then again, if they can get it into the “Hammacher Schlemmer” Christmas catalog, I’m sure they will be able to sell a few of them. I tried to get my wife to buy me the reproduction Morgan 3-wheeler car powered by a Harley-Davidson engine for “only $65,000″, buy she decided that taking care of the mortgage and monthly bills was more important. Bummer…

  • [1] October 20, 2014 at 11:12am

    How can the joke made by the Russian guy be perceived as racist? He was basically saying that the Williams’ look like men. He didn’t specify anything about the race of the Williams’, just that they weren’t very feminine-looking.

    In all honesty, they really aren’t very feminine, and they seem to go out of their way to look more “manly” than they actually are. I’m surprised that they don’t just go out and find the guy, and then pound him to a pulp, what is what a real man would do instead of whining about a perceived insult, and then getting him fined and suspended from his job. They might look like men, but they act like limp-twisted sissies.

    The comment that was made by the Russian guy might not have been funny to the Williams’, but I bet’cha everyone else who heard it got a good chuckle from it!

  • [2] October 20, 2014 at 10:49am

    How long do you think it will take for the 30 members of the Ebola Response Team to turn into 3000, or maybe 30,000? Being as they’re supposed military members, they are permitted to carry firearms, right? And how long will it be before they begin “checking” public schools, shopping malls, sporting events, etc., claiming that they’re “just making sure” everyone is healthy? And what if they find somebody who has the sniffles, or maybe a rash, or might be carrying a Bible, or has their voter I.D. in their wallet and is a registered Republican?!? I mean, really, ALL Republicans are much more prone to the Ebola virus, and should be “quarantined” for the protection of the rest of the world… right?

    Meet the National Police Force.

  • [2] October 7, 2014 at 12:11pm

    I sincerely hope that you’re just being sarcastic, and don’t actually mean that comment, Stay-Calm.

  • [5] October 7, 2014 at 11:49am

    Sounds to me as if Mr. Speck (I’m so glad that isn’t MY name!) believes that by making roads smaller and in effect scarier to drive on, people will slow down because the road appears too narrow for normal driving speeds. Also, his desire for more bicycle lanes in place of normal, relatively wide American roads does nothing to disguise his typical Liberal hate for automobiles and the people who own them.

    Anyway, I grew up in a rural area of S.W. Pennsylvania, and learned how to drive those big Oldsmobiles of the ’60′s & ’70′s on roads that were sometimes unpaved, always narrow & twisty (there are maybe 7 miles of straight roads in all of S.W.Pa.) and riddled with pot-holes. After a few thousand miles of driving on those kind of roads, a person tends to get used to it, and can drive just as fast as anyone else can drive on a smooth, wide, perfectly paved interstate highway. It’s all just a matter of getting used to your environment.

    Therefore, this beaurocratic weenie-bender should pedal his Schwinn back home along some rutted, unpaved narrow roads… with the seat removed from the seat-post. Maybe that’ll teach him. Then again, he might get a thrill from it.

  • [1] October 6, 2014 at 2:38pm

    Chickens aren’t even animals – they’re bugs. Didja ever watch a chicken do whatever it is they do? Seriously, if space aliens landed here and saw a bunch of chickens, and then some bugs, they would almost certainly think that chickens are just another variety of insect… bigger, but much more stupid than the average cockroach. And much better tasting.

  • [2] October 6, 2014 at 2:34pm

    “Vegetarian” is an old Navajo word meaning “lousy hunter”. I think I’m gonna stop by KFC on my way home from work today to get one of those 21-piece violence buckets… yummy!

    Some people’s kids…

  • [36] October 3, 2014 at 10:48am

    Starbucks is an ultra-liberal owned business. If the woman said that she wanted to use the bathroom to self-abort her unborn child, they probably would have given her the keys to the restroom, along with whatever else she needed to do the job.

    On top of that, their coffee is terrible. The one and only time I got coffee from Starbucks, it tasted like it had been sitting on the warming plate since the Carter administration. The fact that is cost more than 3 times the price of my favorite coffee (Sheetz Original House Blend) cemented my decision never go back to Starbucks.

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  • [1] October 3, 2014 at 9:49am

    Although I no longer watch “The Five” (or any other news – type broadcast, as it’s ALL just B.S.), I do occasionally find myself in agreement with crazy ol’ Beckel.

    In his censored statement, Beckel affirms what everybody else seems to be afraid to say… that most of America’s young men nowadays are either wannabe street hoodlums, or are actually the real thing. Most are just “dressing the part”, with their ridiculous oversize pants that expose their underwear and flat-brimmed baseball caps worn sideways and crooked, with the price tags and metallic “stickers of authenticity” still attached. I often see young adult man-boys with perfect teeth (a sign that the parents have good jobs with decent dental insurance), hands without calluses (a sign that the kid has never had a real job) driving daddy’s new Beemer, wearing the aforementioned clothing, and acting as if they were born & raised “in the ‘hood”. The Blaupunkt 600-watt car stereo is polluting the environment with the sounds of angry shouting by Fiddy Cent or some other talentless (c)rapper, and for some reason, nice looking girls are still attracted to them despite their idiocy. Go figure…

    If my daughter would happen to bring home one of these punks, his car would remain in my driveway until his parents came to get him and the car. I would then explain to them what a poor job they have done raising their child.

    Fortunately, my daughter is a librarian, and creeps never frequent libraries.

  • October 2, 2014 at 12:37pm

    Dan Snyder should pull an Art Modell (former owner of the REAL Cleveland Browns, now known as the Baltimore Ravens) and just quietly move or sell the entire team to a less politically correct city. Perhaps the “Biose Redskins” could work. The name “Redskins” could be said to represent the potatoes grown in that area. Or maybe “Galveston Redskins”, in reference to how easy it is to get a serious sunburn in that beautiful city.

    It’s obvious that the D.C. area doesn’t appreciate having a pro football team, so why not just move on down the road to where a professional football team that generates millions of dollars for the local economy would be welcomed? Afterwards, when the locals are all crying about the loss of their team, the city can spend millions of dollars trying to aquire another team – just like Cleveland did after Art Model sold the Browns back in the ’90′s.

  • [18] October 2, 2014 at 10:13am

    That would have been a very good idea – if this was still the beginning of September. Now that 2 (that’s right – there is another confirmed Ebola patient in Hawaii) Ebola parients have entered the country, the process has begun, and containing the spread of the disease will be next to impossible.

    There is no way to determine how many people the Ebola patients have come into contact with and have already infected. If either of these people ate at a fast-food restaurant, they no doubt touched the counter-top, and so did the people waiting in line behind them. If they used the restroom in any public place (like in the airport when they entered the country) the next person to use that toilet is now carrying the virus… and whom have those people come into contact with? It’s possible, and highly likely, that there are now hundreds or perhaps thousands of Ebola infected people walking around right now. And guess what – they’re eating in restaurants, riding in busses, and shopping at grocery stores along with the rest of the American population. If they sweat, sneeze, cough, use a pubic restroom, or pay for an item with cash, they spread the disease.

    The only question that really matters is this: How are you going to spend the last few weeks of “normal” life before everything goes completely berserk? I strongly suggest accepting Jesus Christ as your savior before you worry about anything else.

  • September 30, 2014 at 11:08am

    I know, I spelled “prostitute” wrong, and should have used the word “indiscretion”. Gimme some slack. Those 2 hits of LSD must have screwed my brain up.

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  • September 30, 2014 at 11:02am

    Well, let’s see… I don’t much care for wine, as it tastes like grape juice that has gone bad. Oh, wait, that’s because it IS grape juice that has gone bad. Therefore, I’ve spent less than $20 on wine in my 53 years of existance.

    However, I used to buy and smoke weed back in my younger daze, although I only did it because everyone else did it… I never really liked the feeling of a weed buzz. I’m also guilty of buying exactly 2 hits of LSD, and maybe an “8-ball” of cocaine back in the early ’80′s, and I’ll admit to procuring the services of a prostitue once while I was in the U.S. Army, also back in the early ’80′s.

    Therefore, I stand openly, as a proud United States citizen who has spent more on drugs and prostitutes that I have spent on wine. Geeze, I hope I don’t get shipped out to the U.K. for my admitted discretions. They have lousy weather there!

    Let’s just not mention the amount of money I’ve spent on beer and cigarettes… that would no doubt put me into an entirely different category.

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  • [12] September 30, 2014 at 10:39am

    If anybody approached, he would stand his ground and say “Nee” until he was brrought an shrubbery. Not “a shrubbery”, mind you, but “an shrubbery”.

  • September 30, 2014 at 10:14am

    I can’t believe in the whole “rapture” thing, because it was completely unheard of until about 100 years ago, give or take a few years. I’m reasonably certain that no new books, chapters, or verses have been added to the Holy Bible in the past 100 years, so how did the idea of the Rapture come into being?

    I’m not being sarcastic, and I’m not saying this to offend anyone. I am by no means a biblical scholar, although I am a Born Again Christian. I don’t attend church as often as I should, and perhaps because of that, I have many questions to ask the Lord when I finally meet Him… questions concerning how some things in the Bible seem to contradict others, and why did he put that stupid tree in the Garden of Eden in the first place? Bad move, if you ask me… I mean, really, He could’ve planted the darn thing somewhere in Antarctica… would’ve saved Him a bunch of trouble.

    Regardless, I’ll go see the movie. I watched the 3 older “Left Behind” movies on Netflix last week, and they were actually pretty good. Check ‘em out if you have time.

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