User Profile: Soul Leister

Soul Leister

Member Since: January 04, 2011

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  • May 22, 2015 at 9:55am

    ((continued from above))

    The familiar smell of burned hair did not go unnoticed… at first I mused “why do I smell burned hair?… do bees have hair?” and then realized, bees don’t have hair, YIKES. Well now you know why you have two eyebrows (one is a spare, right?). Good thing I went back in for the pants, wink. Mindful, no contingency plan ever survives contact, I will remain on guard for any of his accomplices reconnoitering the area (though I probably won’t be spraying the next one first… unless they are wearing rubber body suits I am sure they will not survive the revolting experience I have planned for them… then again, I barely did. I could always just shoot them with a handgun… but that is probably overkill… and god knows where the ricochet will go.

    I lived to tell the tale, life is good (god does protect fools it would seem).

  • May 22, 2015 at 9:55am

    ((continued from above))

    In that microsecond before the mallet of destiny made contact with Mr. Bee I couldn’t help but notice a bright blue electric arc jumped to him from the metal grid… man, it was bright (I remember thinking that is so cool)… and to my surprise ignited the aerosol I had sprayed like a small fuel air device used in the first Gulf War (truth be told, I think I peed a little).

    Oddly, there was no thunder clasp accompanying the fireball that rolled and boiled off my porch into the yard… just a slow steady burn (which no doubt could have been seen, in broad daylight, by spy satellites (their’s and our’s) in low earth orbit. I should have seen that coming. This kind of stuff usually only happens to other people (that’s my story and I am sticking with it)… so this is what happens when you don’t think something ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

    The bright flash was sure to have obscured my vision had my eyelids not already slammed shut instantaneously, just like my sphincter, as my autonomous upper brain housing group took immediate action to protect my eyes from my own stupidity… millions of years of evolution at work. Oh, I heard (and felt) the contact of armored bee on metal (in the sweet spot of my electric fence racket) which no doubt launched him into an orbit he will not be coming back from anytime soon (if ever).

    ((continued))

    Responses (1) +
  • May 22, 2015 at 9:53am

    It was a beautiful day, the sun was out and last nights gentle rain (beaded up on the leaves) was slowly evaporating.

    The drone of heavily armored carpenter bees (like small utility helicopters) could be heard on my front porch over the talking heads on CNN, so I armed myself for battle.

    In my left hand I had a well shaken can of ant and roach spray (to dull their senses, slow them down enough to better track them with my lazy eye… that was the plan) and in my meaty right hand the Thor’s hammer of flyswatters… electrified and loaded with two fresh “D” batteries… thumb switch at the ready.

    I eased onto the front porch ninja style (minus the ninja outfit… instead a brightly tie dyed t-shirt (tis the season) and after I went back in side to put my pants on, pants too).

    The dark knight clad bumble bee was huge (looking more like a futuristic military drone than an insect) and hovered in close (to size me up?)… too close for his own good… I immediately doused him with a well aimed cloud of ant and roach poison (to disorient him and dull his senses… so he wouldn’t see what was coming) and without hesitation swung my electric flyswatter/mallet into the man made nebula of atomized gas like Babe Ruth swinging with bad intentions at a slow lazy pitch over home plate (make no mistake, the device was armed and dangerous its red warning light was on steady like the locked tone of a target tracker).

    ((continued))

    Responses (1) +
  • [2] May 22, 2015 at 9:34am

    …better still:
    #JustPeace
    #HandsUpOrYouWillBeShot
    #PantsUPDon’tLoot (that is pretty good and needs no improvement)
    #BlackLIESDoNotMatterSoStopDoingIt

  • May 22, 2015 at 9:31am

    NOT TRUE… http://www.snopes.com/media/celebrity/geraldo.asp… Never was Jerry RIvers (though comical)… come on guys, we are supposed to be better than regurgitating rumors (that’s the job of the left wing propaganda slaves).

  • [16] May 22, 2015 at 9:18am

    Black LIES don’t matter (frankly we are tired of hearing them whine all the time).

  • [49] May 22, 2015 at 9:14am

    The dead ones (killed other blacks) still vote by absentee ballots… anybody doubt it?

  • [3] May 20, 2015 at 9:51am

    Nothing new here… another militant black centric racist clown appears on CNN… they seem to have a disproportionate number of them… and until they fix that problem CNN has zero credibility… I watch it for comedy… their black clowns are the most ridiculous of them all (and that is saying something with the perp line they have at their disposal).

  • [18] May 19, 2015 at 7:25pm

    So some bikers killed some other bikers… nine? The sky is falling? Crips and Bloods (both black gangs) kill thousands each year (most of them black kids taking stray rounds they pump in the street)… and whitey is somehow the problem?????????

  • [4] May 19, 2015 at 9:29am

    Marc (ever the militant black centric racist) pretends to be an expert… its a non-stop parade of far left of loony on CNN and only their affirmative action hires are (always) right… there is no room for the truth on CNN (except by accident and they are quick to dismiss it)… every hour is an on air train wreck of their own making and has nothing to do with actual news (their circular logic rushing back to bite them over and over and they hate being called on it) followed by copious amounts of ‘your too stupid to know what’s good for you’… what a bunch of tools.

  • [2] May 19, 2015 at 9:15am

    … in a couple decades English will be replaced with ebonics.

    Responses (1) +
  • [3] May 19, 2015 at 9:13am

    Thuggery is the gateway activity that leads to ‘skullduggery’ (like pot leads to higher drug use)… end thuggery the democrat way… TAX IT!

  • [-1] May 19, 2015 at 9:11am

    But Jesus died for all our (future?) mistakes/sins (2000 years ago), so it doesn’t matter what we do or he was a liar.

  • [11] May 19, 2015 at 9:08am

    Democrat pinhead bullies HATE being accurately described… and will do anything (to include throwing their own mothers under any moving bus) TO AVOID THE TRUTH being told about them and/or the loser thugs they align themselves with to stay in office.

  • [13] May 17, 2015 at 11:59pm

    An ambulance chaser’s daughter… lying about being injured? Did Tawana Brawley couch her or did her “infamous” baby daddy tell her what to say, like he tells all his b—, er, women(?)… When did he have time for a family, what with all his lying in public and shaken down whitey… can’t be no time for left in the day (what with his tax dodging and instigating mob violence, like the time he lied about Trayvon being shot in the head TWICE execution style… LIAR… and Obama is his friend (birds of a feather dry hump the public’s leg together for a little cheddar).

  • [2] May 14, 2015 at 5:24pm

    New Academy catch phrase will be: “Don’t shoot if you can see the whites of his hands” (???)

    …old military saying about don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes (talking about the enemy)

  • [7] May 14, 2015 at 5:21pm

    I for one cannot wait for the nightly police camera review instead of the news… it will be a bigger hit than that America’s Funniest Video show… an endless buffet of black stupidity.

    No more bland/vague nightly news reports of police looking for a perp (scaring everyone by not giving an accurate description:

    a. a man in a blue shirt is being sought for fleeing from police (could be anyone)
    b. does anyone recognize this black man… if you are harboring him (and there is video) you will be arrested too… and there will be video.

  • [4] May 14, 2015 at 5:10pm

    I am just a community organizer, but clearly the officer put himself in danger just by thinking the perp would have any respect for the law whatsoever… all cowardly black thugs knows to do is to run and hide… to violate the law another day.

  • [1] May 14, 2015 at 5:08pm

    Its going to be impossible for an officer to demand citizens not record, when officers are themselves wearing them. Which means an officer confiscating cameras will be charged… and citizens posting edited clips will also be charged with interfering with an ongoing investigation (poisoning jury pools with edited to favor the perp internet postings, wink)… mark my words, so spake I, now move along, nothing to see here or there (unless you are snitching on your neighbor like a good comrade).

  • [1] May 14, 2015 at 5:04pm

    Calm down Devil Dog (Tuefulhunden)… it had to have been sarcasm, nobody is that stupid.

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