User Profile: The Knave

The Knave

Member Since: December 25, 2011


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  • [1] September 16, 2014 at 11:06pm

    how many of those bigass cans of Foster’s did she have?

    Responses (1) +
  • [3] September 16, 2014 at 10:48pm


  • [7] September 15, 2014 at 9:00pm

    offer to pay the ransom in pork rinds. I’d say pulled pork, but good BBQ is worth far more then Obama will ever be worth.

  • [37] September 14, 2014 at 3:57pm

    Scientists point out that Hillarium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Human mortalities have resulted from exposure to Hillarium. Hillarium threatens to become a pandemic by 2016. Infection symptoms need to be more thoroughly researched, but appear to include a loss of all logical and critical thinking abilities, loss of all consideration for others, onset of paranoia and conspiracy theory predilections (commonly heard are protestations of a “vast right wing conspiracy” and a “War on Women” — in which ironically Kennedy has the first confirmed kill), and, of course, the already noted tendency towards fatalities.

    Prudent use of prophylactic doses of intense reality after possible exposure to Hilarium is a wise precaution. Fiscal and Constitutional Conservatism may be particularly useful. Encourage all your friends and family to take similar precautions, and vote for candidates in 2014 and 2016 who will work to protect us from the possible scourge of a Hillarium pandemic. Attempts are being made to determine how Hillarium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

  • [64] September 14, 2014 at 3:56pm

    Since it has no electrons, Hillarium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Hillarium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. Paradoxically, in the presense of anti-morons, Hillarium is highly corrosive.

    Hillarium has a normal half-life of approximately four years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a transmutation, appearing in a new location but displaying the same properties. In this process, assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each transmutation.

    Research at other laboratories indicates that Hillarium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

    Responses (13) +
  • [119] September 14, 2014 at 3:56pm

    BREAKING NEWS!!!! The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The new element has been named Hillarium. The chemical symbol of Hillarium is BS.

    Hillarium has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

    Hillarium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Hillarium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Hillarium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Hillarium activates CNNadnausium and MSNBCobnoxium, elements that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since each has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Hillarium. Hillarium has also been reported in some war torn countries to inexplicably draw sniper fire out of thin air where no snipers are present, and to cause shoes to catapult across the room as a result of intense attraction to Hillarium.

    Responses (12) +
  • [7] September 14, 2014 at 9:09am

    that’s not their thigh they’re slapping…..

  • [1] September 13, 2014 at 8:37pm

    hmmmm…combine Lib and T ard together and you get asterisks. Who knew? But ass is just peachy…so LibAsses it is

  • September 13, 2014 at 8:36pm

    Condi as NFL Commish would be interesting. She seems to be making libs heads explode for some reason, so….I wouldn’t bank on it. The fact she’s a Woman and Black doesn’t seem to matter to ******** though

  • [2] September 13, 2014 at 10:32am

    not a bad idea Blue…just one hitch. I’m doing a favor for a buddy of mine and currently keeping his cat for him in the cage while he’s out of town. If I lose his cat, Schrödinger’s gonna flip his s hit. Or maybe not…..

  • [6] September 12, 2014 at 11:29pm

    well..out with it already. we can bearly contain our suspense.

  • [36] September 12, 2014 at 10:35pm

    “It will likely only be noticed by specialized equipment.”

    No kidding. This early evening my flux capacitor made a weird noise and just stopped working. Ever try to find spare parts on a Friday night? Now my evening’s shot……

    In reply to the story Solar Storm Arrives at Earth

    Responses (5) +
  • [8] September 12, 2014 at 4:56pm

    wait a minute…I’m AB Neg. Nobody ever said anything about…uh, damn. Hang on….
    What was I talking about again?

    Responses (2) +
  • [142] September 11, 2014 at 11:05pm

    just for kicks…I actually clicked the link to Huffington Post to see what most of the comments were regarding this blog. There are some seriously whacked posters at that site. I mean seriously outer fringe nutjobs. The next time I feel the need to visit huffington post, somebody whack me upside the damn head.

    Responses (6) +
  • [14] September 11, 2014 at 6:35pm

    having members of your family familiar with firearms is just part of the ongoing training process. Not only must your wife, son, etc be able to fire a handgun..they need to be proficient with YOUR handgun. I carry and my wife carries. Not only is she very good with the weapon of her choice, she is very proficient with the sidearm I carry. Reason? There are times when I’m the only one carrying and she has yet to figure out how to carry while wearing a skimpy evening outfit. In a catastrophic scenario, if I’m incapacitated, she can pick my weapon up and return fire. If my weapon is “programmed” for just me, what’s she gonna do? Throw the damn thing at the bad guy?

    I say ongoing education, because training with weapons is a never ending process. You want everyone in your family capable of shooting all the weapons at your disposal, not just their favorite. Another point to this “smart gun” crap is, will it scan a bloody fingerprint? If the print in the weapon is programmed for my finger, thumb, whatever….will it also work with my offhand prints? If I’m shot in my right arm and bleeding, will the weapon fail to function? If I change hands? If my wife picks the weapon up? How about…I’m dead and the only other person capable of stopping the bad guy is a unarmed veteran standing nearby, but he picks the weapon up and nothing happens?

    The only way this is a good idea is if it’s mandated for Police officers. Otherwise, this is a completely stupid idea thought of by ignorant dopes

    Responses (1) +
  • September 10, 2014 at 10:41pm

    sure it wasn’t this?

  • [2] September 10, 2014 at 9:06pm

    actually…the navy has been fiddling with AH-64s for awhile now, but they’re doing it with lukewarm enthusiasm. In the last year though, in a joint venture between the Army and Navy (with Marines drooling all over themselves), Army AH-64s have been deployed on carriers with the purpose of training Army aviators on carrier procedures, etc. The navy absolutely hates it, but the Marines love it for troop support.

    Given half a chance the Marine Corp will adopt modified AH-64s and you’ll see Apaches onboard Navy ships. Until then, one of the rarest qualifications an Army aviator can receive is Carrier Qualification. That’s landing and takeoff, on a pitching deck, both at night and daytime. And they don’t use arresting gear.
    Boo Friggin Yah!

  • [7] September 9, 2014 at 2:28pm

    gonna watch 13th Warrior again tonight just because you posted that

  • [2] September 7, 2014 at 11:16am

  • [1] September 6, 2014 at 2:03pm

    “This is not a monarchy.”

    prove it…..

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