User Profile: TIMEBOMB


Member Since: December 29, 2012


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  • [7] June 29, 2016 at 2:54pm

    I realize it’s been an extended period since I commented, I’ve been abroad giving pep talks to my ISIS friends. I created them so I think it only fitting that I boost their spirits whenever I can and they wore me out I’ll tell ya. It turns out they like goats and men, I know I’m a poor excuse for a man but they were appreciative nonetheless.
    I digress so back to the issue at hand, I find this #HeterosexualPrideDay’ offensive so this evening I will light up MY HOUSE with the *** flag in a show of solidarity with other deviants such as myself.

    Praise be to me your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO.

    Responses (2) +
  • [3] March 24, 2016 at 7:05pm

    Dear serfs,

    I want you to know I had a great time with comrade Castro and I informed him I will be handing the keys to GITMO over to him. I also had fun doing the tango but I would’ve preferred a brawny man for a dance partner.
    Finally I want to let my serfs know that Clinton will make a fine president to carry on where I left off. Donald and I have a special relationship, sometimes I pitch and he catches and vice versa and eventhough Don is up in age he can take a pretty good pounding! It will serve him well when Clinton pounds him albeit in a different manner.

    Praise be to me BHO your magnificent gay Marxist ruler!

  • [29] January 8, 2016 at 10:35pm

    Good evening dear serfs,

    I held this meeting to describe the steps I intend to take to institute some common sense gun control measures.
    I must confess I’ve never owned a gun and was curious as to how they function. I asked my favorite SS man Fun Tu Bang if I could touch it. He said yes and produced his gun I asked what is this long thing and why is it soooo hard is it a SHAFT? He said no it’s a barrel and the round comes out through here. He said something about WAD cutters and my ears perked up since i have a great deal of experience with wads, gobs and gobs of wads.

    My SS men said they would take me to the range and I could touch all their shafts er barrels and I’m very excited about my upcoming trip. Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO, praise be to me.

    Responses (5) +
  • [17] December 25, 2015 at 3:18pm

    After all I’ve done for you and you still didn’t answer their question. I ordered five high level terrorists released just to secure your traitorous asses release and this is how you repay your gay president! I even let you pitch when we got back to the oval office! Now I’m in Hawaii with my beard and two illegitimate brats and I read about this in the newspapers? This is outrageous but I still can’t allow you to be convicted because it would make the trade look worse, five high level terrorists for one deserter. Of course my brain dead worshipers wouldn’t know the difference because well they’re brain dead. Praise be to me BHO your magnificent gay Marxist ruler.

  • [5] October 23, 2015 at 9:16pm

    Dear serfs,

    It’s been a long road for me and I’ve done much to eff you up and I’ve had a ball doing it , actually many many balls. An achievement I’m most proud of is forcing you bastards to accept gays like me and secondly my war on police is very rewarding. I’ve managed to get several cops killed this year with my rhetoric. I was able to arm my Iranian brothers with nuclear weapons and you bastards know who they’ll target first, that’s right them Jews.

    Sadly Joe won’t be running and I’m going to miss banging that old drunk. When your queen steps down I’ll divorce my beard and ditch those two illegitimate brats. Also I want you to know that I wasn’t laughing simply because I’m screwing you over I’m laughing because my Great Dane rode me really hard and I was simply replaying the fun in my head. Praise be to me your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO.

  • [11] June 30, 2015 at 9:10am

    Dear loyal serfs,

    I’m writing to you this fine morning to gloat about MY victory in getting gay marriage passed in your formerly constitutional republic. I know some of you are upset over this but hey you morons put me in office what did you expect. I started my political career in Chicago where I frequented many bath houses and fortunately I escaped getting the HIV which allowed me to become your ruler, lucky for you huh. I though lighting MY house with the only flag I recognize was appropriate and an honorable mention goes to my second favorite flag, ISIS.

    So you morons chew on that for a while, I’m going to waste more of MY money while you idiots keep working harder for less pay.

    Praise be to me BHO your magnificent gay Marxist ruler.

    Responses (2) +
  • [2] March 18, 2015 at 9:09am

    Good Morning dear serfs,

    I woke up this morning to some very bad news and it’s upset me greatly, BiBi won reelection and it’s thrown a monkey wrench into the plans I had for those Jews and Israelis. Then I see this ray of hope and sunshine in the ‘ARMY OF HARDNESS’ and I have but one word to describe my feelings about this,YUMMY.

    Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO.
    Praise be to me.

    Responses (1) +
  • January 13, 2015 at 2:37pm

    This story is gay since I’m the gay poster boy! I have no idea how this could’ve happened but I can assure you that your queen is ENRAGED, I DEMAND RECOGNITION AS THE GAY POSTER BOY.
    Don’t you serfs read Newsweek? They informed everyone of my gayness, hell look at my beard if a man wasn’t gay prior to marrying that thing you damn sure would be gay after marrying it.

    Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO, Praise be to me.

  • [1] January 8, 2015 at 6:42pm

    Thanks for mentioning me in the last word of your comment!
    Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO. Praise be to me.

    Responses (1) +
  • [11] January 8, 2015 at 6:39pm

    Okay John that’s a low blow, I didn’t stop my royal procession because I was servicing my favorite SS man Fun Tu Bang. How am I supposed to see what’s going on outside when I’m doing the chicken head? Six years I slave away for you lesser thans and this is the thanks I get? You’ve pizzed off your queen John and I’ll be in revenge mode so watch your fossilized back Casper.

    Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO. Praise be to me.

    Responses (2) +
  • [-1] January 6, 2015 at 9:45am

    I trust you was genuflecting while addressing your royal gayness? It’s true that I liked old white men during my gay rampage through Chicago. I liked sticking it to whitey, a power trip If you will. These days I like the young brawny man, virile and
    a little rough at times.

  • January 5, 2015 at 1:49pm

    Dear loyal subjects,
    My beard was supposed to appear on this show to try and explain that her husband the king of America isn’t gay. I told her that wouldn’t be necessary since everyone just assumes I’m gay because well look at you you’re basically a man . Everything about you screams MAN, your brawny arms and Manish face, broad shoulders and HUGE caboose, yep you’re a MAN. Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO, Praise be to me.

    Responses (2) +
  • [6] December 26, 2014 at 2:59pm

    Loyal subject Monk,
    I can assure you when it comes to Reggie my stallion nothing is soft!

    Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO. Praise be to me.

  • [3] December 26, 2014 at 2:54pm

    All my SS men wear body cams and nothing else! We need to have these cameras to enjoy the footage later on, you know when the first cow and two illegitimate brats are outta my hair.

  • [11] December 26, 2014 at 2:32pm

    Dear loyal subjects,

    I find myself once again taking time away from my ‘vacation’ to address another crisis. At no time was your kings life in jeopardy while what’s her name was in my motorcade. I feel it’s necessary to let my serfs I mean supporters know that your highness was in no danger whatsoever. My SS men are more than qualified when it comes to watching my back side. If something were to happen they’d swarm all over me and keep me safe, in fact I insist on practicing that swarming technique daily. The constant drilling I get from my SS men is a sacrifice your gayness makes for you and I’m glad to dot it or be done to which ever the case may be. Furthermore I can assure all of you that what’s her name wasn’t sexually harassed in any way since we’re all gay in my white house.

    Aloha, your magnificent gay Marxist ruler, BHO. Praise be to me.

    Responses (1) +
  • [6] December 24, 2014 at 7:50pm

    Dear Loyal subjects,
    Me and my beard and two illegitimate brats want to wish all of you lesser thans a very Merry Christmas!
    I’m on vacation in Hawaii and I take time out to recognize my serfs, I’m special man I realize and you can gaze upon me through your televisions and wonder what it’s like to be so amazing. I know I know you’re in awe of me so take a deep breath and relax. You only have my greatness for two more years then I divorce my beard and end that charade. I’ll be in the warm embrace of my SS men, they always have my backside, their muscles are so rigid and their vigor is greatly appreciated by your highness.

    Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO. Praise be to me.

    Responses (1) +
  • [5] December 20, 2014 at 9:40am

    Thank you dear serf and Merry Christmas to you!

  • [19] December 20, 2014 at 9:26am

    Ah yes the ole Joint Forcible Entry Exercise, that’s my favorite, my SS men are VERY forceful.
    They even let me touch their guns, so long and hard ahhhh my SS toys I mean men are top notch, they always have my back….door. Yes 2014 has been a smashing success if I say so myself and since I’m your gay king my opinion is the only one that counts. You serfs are going to have to work harder for less pay and I’ll tax your asses to hell and gone, how about that? I’ve ordered open borders to further lower wages and expand the welfare state. I know I’m rambling but I’m your gay King and I can do whatever the hell I want. So Merry Christmas you lesser thans! Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler. Praise be to me BHO.

    Responses (2) +
  • [20] December 17, 2014 at 10:16pm

    Dear loyal subjects it is I your magnificent gay Marxist ruler. I know I’ve been absent for quite some time and I know your only concern is my comfort and safety. The yellow room is appropriately named since this is the room your magnificent gay Marxist ruler receives his golden showers. NO WOMEN ALLOWED in the yellow room, it’s bad enough I have to act like I’m married to that beast impersonating a woman. I prefer my SS men give me my golden showers, they’re so young, strong and virile. As I stand here typing this, my bottom is very sore for obvious reasons, I grow weary so I’ll say goodnight dear serfs.

    Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler, praise be to me BHO.

  • [9] October 11, 2014 at 9:37pm

    Dear serfs,
    I’ve misplaced one of my super soakers on the subway and I’m in a panic. I need my morning facial and I need a new ‘donor’. I suppose I could use Joe but he’s just as wrinkled and limp, oh well I guess I can order one of my brawny SS men to do the deed. Praise be to me Your magnificent gay Marxist ruler BHO.

    Responses (3) +
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