Blaze radio hosts Doc Thompson and Skip LaCombe took Earth Day to a whole new level on Tuesday. In a segment on The Morning Blaze, the two relentlessly mocked how a day dedicated to recycling and picking up trash has seemingly become the holiest day in the green "religion."
With solemn hymns in the background, the two opened the segment pretending to be pompous Europeans "Nigel Browntooth" and "Sir William Windbreaker." They narrated the proceedings of what they called "Worship the Earth Day" as though a religious procession were happening in real-time.
As guests like Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio were announced, Doc and Skip highlighted how the service has been presented in conjunction with the "Grand Unifying Church of Climatology Reform," and praised how the temple was constructed of "reclaimed grass clippings, cardboard toilet tubes and old paper towels."
Of course, there is no such proceeding occurring today. Doc and Skip said the segment is merely intended to demonstrate how many have begun replacing actual religion with a near-religious zealotry for "Mother Earth."
The two even joked about a "seminar" on "eco-sexuals," or "people who take the Earth as their lover and promise to love, honor and cherish the Earth until death brings them closer together, forever." They also compared the concept of carbon taxes to "tithing" to "sustain the green ministry."
After Doc and Skip abandoned their alter-egos, they asked listeners to call in or tweet their "eco-sins" using the hashtags #WorshipTheEarthDay and #EcoSin. After hearing the sins, they offered ludicrous ways the sinners could repent.
"My eco-sin is blasphemy!" one caller remarked. "I do not worship the Earth."
Doc replied solemnly: "What I want you to do is collect Ted Nugent CDs and Tea Party signs, and recycle them into bike path surfaces."
One tweeter confessed to turning on her hair straightener before showering, so it would be "nice and hot" 15 minutes later.
Doc instructed the individual to make air fresheners out of sterilized sheep droppings as penance, and be proud to have used natural substances instead of chemicals and plastic. But Doc also cautioned that the "air fresheners" would only be effective in places that smell worse than animal excrement.
"Michael Moore's bed," he suggested. "An Occupy protest. The studios of MSNBC ... anything like this."
Listen to the entire segment, below, and feel free to chime in with your own "eco-sins" on Twitter or in the comments section.