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Transgender man gives birth after sperm donation from transgender woman: 'It felt so right'

Transgender man's partner doesn't identify as male or female — but underwent double breast removal

Image source: Mirror video screenshot

Reuben Sharpe began living as a man in 2007 and took male hormones, which gave him a beard, a deep voice, and masculine features, the Mirror reported.

But the Brit — now 39 — still had maternal instincts and stopped taking testosterone six years ago in the hope of one day having a child, the outlet noted.

Then Reuben met fellow wedding photographer Jay in a pub, and they became a couple, the Mirror said.

Jay, 28, has undergone a double breast removal but is nonbinary, doesn't identify as male or female, and uses the pronouns "them" and "they" rather than "he" or "she," the outlet added.

Getting pregnant

Soon Reuben talked to Jay about getting pregnant.

Referring to Jay, Reuben told the Mirror, "I realized I would have to talk to them. If they didn't want kids, we'd have to break up. I managed to bring up the subject, but luckily Jay was open to the idea."

The couple then found a sperm donor on Facebook — a transgender woman who can still produce sperm, the outlet said.

"I thought they would be perfect," Reuben told the Mirror. "Sperm donation is a big decision to make, but when we asked the donor, it felt so right. We sent a message on Facebook to ask."

Soon a doctor — who also is transgender — inserted the donor's sperm into Reuben's womb, and tests confirmed a pregnancy, the outlet said.

Three months ago, baby Jamie was born, the Mirror reported.

“I finally feel complete," Reuben told the outlet. "It wasn't that I was desperate to have the birthing experience or pregnancy experience, but I wanted a child, and I had the facility to do it."

'Invasive questions'

But not all was tea and crumpets for the couple, particularly when they ventured into medical facilities for tests.

“I found it frustrating that people didn't just ask my gender or not use it. I look like a man, have a beard. It's bizarre you wouldn't just avoid saying 'she,'" Reuben added to the Mirror. "People asked very invasive questions about body parts and how I'd give birth. Giving birth isn't a trans thing. Women give birth in different ways, too."

However, Reuben also acknowledged to the outlet that "I actually liked my pregnant body and liked being bigger. It was very affirming, and I really enjoyed it — I'm a man and I get pregnant. There's a lot of changes to go through, but I felt free of that. Women struggle with their bodies when they go through pregnancy, too, so it isn't something a trans man would exclusively feel."

The future

The couple — who plan on marrying next year — told the Mirror that raising Jamie among like-minded people in Brighton is a priority.

“It's about having the right kind of community around us so they are able to see different kinds of family set-ups," Jay added to the outlet. "All we can do is try to be really open from the start with them and other people around us — give them the best chance."

Reuben and Jay also refuse to be hemmed in by traditional mother and father roles, the Mirror said, adding that Jay is open to giving birth in the future.

“Like with many things, people have got it into their heads 'this is a female thing, this is a male thing.' Having a child is male, female, everyone," Reuben added to the outlet. "Even when people go through that pregnancy experience with their partner, it's a joint thing. Wanting to have a baby doesn't feel like a female thing for me. I don't think pregnancy is the ultimate female experience, therefore it didn't challenge me as a man. It doesn't make a woman less of a woman if she's not keen on pregnancy, infertile, doesn't want a baby. This isn't a trans issue — it affects everyone."

One last thing…
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