‘Every Man’s Nightmare’: Snake Allegedly Slithers Out of Toilet and Bites Occupant on…

Since we’re talking “nightmare”-level scenarios, you’d be correct in assuming the wounded body part in question isn’t the elbow.

It’s scary. It’s gross. And it ought to reinforce the habit of, you know, taking a second to scan the toilet bowl before you sit upon it.

At least that’s what a 35-year-old man is probably wishing he did after getting bitten on the penis by a snake that allegedly slithered out of a toilet at his parent’s home in northern Israel.

The Times of Israel quotes a report from Israel’s Channel 10: “While sitting on the john, he was rudely and painfully interrupted when a snake appeared and bit his penis. The victim ‘ran from the room in horror’ and went to Haifa’s Rambam Medical Center for treatment.”

Photo: Getty Images

The man, whom Israeli media have not identified, told paramedics at the scene Friday night that while in the bathroom, he suddenly felt “a sharp burning sensation on his penis,” Ynet reports.

One of the paramedics told Ynet that despite the location of the bite, the man stayed calm and “even had a laugh with the medical crew at his own expense.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen a snake bite like this,” the paramedic said. “Luckily…all the tests seem to be fine and the man is feeling well.”

Doctors at Rambam Medical Center in Haifa determined the snake was not venomous.

A hospital spokesman told Ynet: “There is undoubtedly bite marks on the area in question…but it seems the snake is not poisonous. The man is currently undergoing a number of tests and as soon as we have the results he will be able to go home.”

The English language blog Israelly Cool called the incident “Every Man’s Nightmare.” Blogger Aussie Dave points out that when Ynet posted its story, the front-page headline read “Snake bites man sitting on toilet in ‘sensitive area.’” Dave quipped, “I thought, at first, they meant he was bitten in Jerusalem.”

And apparently it’s not the first time this kind of thing has occurred.

Last year, UK’s The Sun reported that a 29-year-old British man touring Tasmania in Australia was bitten in the testicle when he squatted to relieve himself. “But when he begged best mate…to suck the venom out, his pal REFUSED,” the tabloid wrote.

“Instead he drove [the victim] on a 40-minute life-or-death dash to Hobart, Tasmania, where doctors gave him an antidote to the deadly tiger snake poison,” it added.

In 2009, a 51-year-old Taiwanese man was also bitten on the penis by a snake that had slithered into the toilet bowl via a crack in the lid of the septic tank.

“I felt an excruciating pain in my lower body, like someone had stabbed me with a knife…” the man told the Taipei Times.