Green, Ohio -- Santa Claus was spotted at the Akron Canton Airport where the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) diligently investigated his big bag of toys...
Sources close to Santa say that Old St. Nick declined a full-body scan, fearing his naked image might surface on the internet and traumatize countless children worldwide.
When he declined, Mr. Claus was promptly escorted by TSA agents to a private screening room for a jolly pat down.
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