Olympic medalist Sanya Richards-Ross revealed in her new memoir that she had an abortion shortly before competing in the 2008 Olympic Games — and the choice “broke” her.
According to People, Richards-Ross, 32, discovered she was pregnant just weeks before she was due to compete in the Beijing summer games.
“Everything I ever wanted seemed to be within reach,” she wrote in her book, "Chasing Grace: What the Quarter Mile Has Taught Me about God and Life":
The culmination of a lifetime of work was right before me. In that moment, it seemed like no choice at all. The debate of when life begins swirled through my head, and the veil of a child out of wedlock at the prime of my career seemed unbearable. What would my sponsors, my family, my church, and my fans think of me?
She and her then-fiance Aaron Ross decided she would have an abortion.
“Over the phone, we didn’t go into details,” Richards-Ross wrote. “As if not saying it would alleviate some of the guilt and the shame.”
Richards-Ross underwent the procedure the day before she flew to Beijing for the Olympics. Her doctor told her to avoid exercise for two weeks.
During the games, Richards-Ross was widely expected to win the 400-meter race, but a cramp in her hamstring resulted in a third-place finish.
The athlete wrote that she was “broken, physically and emotionally”:
I made a decision that broke me, and one from which I would not immediately heal. Abortion would now forever be a part of my life. A scarlet letter I never thought I’d wear. I was a champion — and not just an ordinary one, but a world-class, record-breaking champion. From the heights of that reality I fell into a depth of despair.
She wrote that the pain of the abortion also impacted her relationship with Ross, who is now her husband.
“I always harbored some resentment toward Ross,” she wrote. “It was our mess-up, but I felt abandoned in the decision. It was like by not saying anything, neither agreeing nor opposing, he kept his conscience clear, but it wasn’t fair. We were in it together.”
She wrote that prayer and honest conversations helped heal their relationship, explaining that Ross told her “that he was just as burdened by the decision as I was."
“He believed that our child in 2008 was a blessing we had rejected by always wanting to be in control,” she wrote.
Richards-Ross told ESPN that it was a difficult decision to reveal her abortion in the book:
The name of the book is called "Chasing Grace." Chasing is something I've been doing all my life. I'm chasing gold medals; I'm chasing records, and chasing the best version of myself. So, for me, if I didn't share the toughest moment in my life where I felt God's grace the most, it would be disingenuous to this journey. I think there are lots of young girls who experience this especially female athletes. I look forward to having more discussions about it and helping young women heal from it.
Richards-Ross announced earlier this year that she is pregnant. Her book was released Tuesday.
