Aziz Ansari has a lot of thank-you notes to write ... to conservatives

Aziz Ansari has a lot of thank-you notes to write. To conservatives.

I had no idea who this guy was until a few days ago, when the story of his clumsy one-nighter with a #metoo girl-in-waiting went viral.

She conveniently discovered a badly formed conscience after she and Ansari got freaky together during their first date, and the next day she went running to tell a magazine all about what had now, in her mind, risen to the level of sexual assault.

Her freely chosen soft-core horror was told anonymously, of course, because that’s what grown-ups do after a completely consensual sexual experience metastasizes into shame and regret, followed by petty vindictiveness: They throw the other person’s clothes out the window and yell “nana nana boo boo.”

That left Ansari, who, I wasn’t shocked to find, is your standard-issue Hollywood progressive, the latest man to have that schizophrenic worldview boomerang back on him. It was only last June that he wrote an op-ed in The New York Times in which he used the phrase “lower-case Ku Klux Klan” to describe the “casual white supremacy” he said was responsible for bringing Trump to power.

But none of that virtue-signaling could save him in the end. For that, he had to rely in large part on the conservative punditry he likely wouldn’t lend a hand to if they were drowning.

Column after column was written to bail him out by insisting that not only did nothing remotely close to sexual assault happen in Ansari’s encounter, but that the true victim is actually Ansari himself — and at the hands of a weaponized social justice crusade that refuses to make women responsible on any level for the logical consequences of their own choices and actions.

That means that significant differences in views on matters of sex and politics were set aside by those coming to Ansari’s aid in pursuit of higher truths that can’t afford to be held hostage to “two legs good, four legs bad.” Yes, that’s still possible, folks. And I hope progressives are taking notes.

Because that’s not a level of decency they have been remotely familiar with in recent memory. Thus, it’s worth repeating their offenses in some detail, to highlight how many, many conservatives and Christians haven’t been afforded the same tolerance and goodwill that Ansari has.

Just ask the Little Sisters of the Poor, who were relentlessly pursued as criminals by the Obama administration for not being sexy enough to pay for contraception coverage with their limited resources, never mind their religious liberty.

Just ask Kelvin Cochran, who was fired as the city of Atlanta’s fire chief because he wrote a book that defended traditional marriage after working in the Obama administration — proving that the Rainbow Jihad trumps race each and every time.

Just ask Jack Phillips of Masterpiece Cakeshop in Colorado, whose fate is currently being decided by the U.S. Supreme Court because he wouldn’t endorse a gay wedding with his craft.

Just ask Aaron and Melissa Klein of Sweetcakes by Melissa, one of the first to find themselves in the same plight as Jack Phillips. They were fined $135,000 by the state of Oregon for a similar offense against the darlings of the hour, and their business collapsed because of it.

Just ask Barronelle Stutzman, the Washington state florist who was sued by longtime customers because while they are allowed to have whatever crazy truth they want, she must be made to care.

Just ask Dick and Betty Odgaard, whose private wedding chapel in Iowa was effectively targeted for extermination because it made the mistake of assuming a definition of marriage that has been in use for thousands of years.

Just ask Business Leaders in Christ, a University of Iowa student group that was forced to defend itself in court after it made the shocking decision to determine its own membership requirements for itself and to make those requirements specifically Christian. Naturally, that led to a state-sponsored pogrom by the university administration.

I could go on, but the point is abundantly clear that the same ethical and intellectual standards that inspired Christians and conservatives to so quickly and vigorously come to the defense of Aziz Ansari are almost never to be found when the circumstances are reversed. There is no sense of proportion. There is no allowance for differing creeds. There is no loving your neighbor as yourself.

There is only self-love on the progressive side of the ledger, which means each and every “other” better reflect that self’s image — or let the tyranny begin.

Aziz Ansari should be grateful in the extreme that he has been shown a better way by true defenders of justice and liberty. Perhaps he can return the favor by making fewer half-baked racism jokes in the future and begin laughing more readily at the dangerous joke his own tribe has become.

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