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Whitlock: Chris Rock, ‘The Profane Preacher,’ b***h slapped Will Smith and secular culture

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Despite the cursing, name-calling, endorsement of abortion, and celebration of lust and drugs, Chris Rock’s Netflix comedy special “Selective Outrage” expressed a biblical worldview.

In fact, when it ended, after Rock closed with a tirade that repeatedly called Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith “bitches,” the 69-minute routine felt like the comedian’s impersonation of Jesus’ cleansing of the temple, the one that featured Christ overturning tables and bad-mouthing bankers.

“Selective Outrage” lived up to its name. It was not a flash of anger. It was a controlled and calculated demolition of a culture turned antithetical to the one that cultivated Rock’s meritocratic rise to stardom. Rock was justifiably outraged Saturday night. Woke culture threatens his way of life. Insistence on political correctness cancels entertainers who dare to bother the sensibilities of the way-too-easily triggered.

The 58-year-old Rock, the product of a working-class nuclear family with seven kids, hammered an anti-victimhood message throughout his stand-up routine. He ripped American white men for claiming victim status. He blasted Meghan Markle, the light-skinned Duchess of Sussex, for whining about the royals’ interest in the skin tone of her baby.

“It was just some in-laws sh*t,” Rock quipped.

Ever since Will Smith walked on the Oscars stage to slap Rock, the super skinny comic has waged a one-man war against victimhood.

“I am not a victim, baby,” Rock barked Saturday. “You will never see me on Oprah (Winfrey) or Gayle (King) crying. You will never see it. Never gonna happen… I took that hit like (boxer Manny) Pacquiao.”

Reviewers of “Selective Outrage” will focus on Rock’s angry rebuke of Smith. Nothing is more clickable than celebrity conflict.

However, nothing is more important than the good-vs-evil, believers-vs-atheists culture war raging in America.

Rock chose a side Saturday night. He’s on the God Squad.

Given the enormous amount of profanity Rock unleashed Saturday night – he sounded like a mash-up of rappers Cardi B and Eazy-E – that assertion will sound crazy to many people. It’s even nuttier considering Rock bragged and joked about paying for abortions and using his wealth to pursue sexual conquests. To wild applause, Rock proudly staked a pro-choice position, saying he wants his two daughters to control their bodies and complaining that many states now outlaw abortion.

But that was all just a setup to Rock’s real joke and even realer point.

Abortion is murder.

He kept telling the seemingly pro-choice, Baltimore audience that he was on their side. But he also kept throwing the ugliness and immorality of abortion in their face. He compared abortion to a mafia hit. He feigned calling a doctor and asking: “Is it done yet?”

Rock is not pro-abortion. Throughout his career, he’s made it quite clear life begins in the womb. Saturday, he ridiculed the notion of women being allowed to abort their children up until the child’s first report card.

In 2005, a writer for Slate, John Swansburg, labeled Rock the “William F—ing Buckley of stand-up.” Of course, you remember Buckley, the conservative public intellectual and founder of the National Review. Well, Swansburg hated Rock’s penchant for taunting women who use abortion as birth control.

Chris Rock embodies the American dream. He, his mom, dad, and six siblings climbed the social and economic ladder thanks to this country’s Judeo-Christian culture. On Saturday, Rock shared a story about his mom growing up during a time when black people in her community often had to see a veterinarian to get their teeth pulled. He marveled that his mom now flies twice a year to Europe to visit her granddaughter at culinary school.

Rock’s Saturday-night sermon included references to his humble upbringing, grateful spirit, and devotion to his daughters. The discerning ear noticed Rock lacing his bits with biblical wisdom.

He trashed the notion that kids are born good and made evil and racist by their parents.

“Kids are born good? Only people without kids say that,” Rock observed before sharing his older daughter’s habit of biting people when she was a child. “You think me and her mother taught her that?”

Christians believe man is born into sin, wicked by nature, and in need of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Non-believers think man is born pure and turned wicked by the world.

Rock also cleverly explained the natural order and the benefits of a patriarchal culture. He said you can judge a neighborhood by who is at home at 12:15 in the afternoon on a weekday. If you see women in sweatsuits, walking babies, riding bikes, just leaving the gym, you know you’re in a good neighborhood. If you see men in sweatsuits, riding bikes, and lifting weights, you know you’re in danger.

“It’s not good when men aren’t working,” Rock said.

Rock ended his show revealing why he didn’t physically respond to Will Smith’s slap.

“I got parents. I got raised. You know what my parents taught me? Don’t fight in front of white people.”

He then dropped the mic, soaked in the cheers, and walked off stage.

Chris Rock is the profane preacher comedy needs.

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