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Advice for Fineman

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Howard Fineman, the longtime Newsweek writer, is joining the Huffington Post. Gawker has some advice for him:

  • "Hashtag politics" may impress your magazine buddies, but this is not going to fly on the Internet.
  • You used to have fancy off-the-record lunches with Barack Obama. People who write on the Internet don't do this. (Eat lunch.)
  • Anyone who talks about wanting to "understand the Internet" never will.
  • Copy editors don't exist on the Internet. Make sure all of your prose is perfect the first time around, like we do.
  • If you mention our stories, you better not forget to link to them! That makes us soooo mad.
  • You will probably write your own headlines for the Huffington Post. Make sure you CAPITALIZE random WORDS and put (PICTURES) or (VIDEO) after all of them, like so: "Will JOHN BOEHNER be the next SPEAKER of the HOUSE? (PICTURES) (VIDEO)"
  • Your last tweet was "An exhausting 48 hours and I have nothing to say!" No one ever says anything on Twitter, but you can't just give the game away like that.
  • You always talk about "calling" this Washington insider or that. You don't "call" someone on the Internet. You "gchat" them.
  • Start a Tumblr to offload all of the funny things you think of during the day but can't fit into your posts.
  • Now that you write on the Internet instead of in a magazine, people are actually going to be reading you. Are you sure you can handle the pressure?

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