Patently foolish - 'The Comb-Over'

Inventions and innovation fascinate me.  I love learning about how things work and how they came to be. Today we take a quick look into the miraculous (and patented) innovation known as the "Comb-Over."

Some of the great inventions of the past 100 years include the personal computer, cellular telephone, air conditioning, and the many medical breakthroughs that are adding to our quality of life as they extend it.  Recently, I discovered that the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office actually granted a patent for the Comb-Over.

Casual observers of human life have seen the Comb-Over in action. In a moment of desperation, you may have attempted it yourself. And there is no denying that many famous faces have employed the tonsorial adjustment process, in varying degrees:

Donald Trump is often rumored to be a member of the C.O. Club

At one time, Senator John McCain was a user too.

I wonder if these, or any Comb-Over users know that the process they are applying is patented? Patent #4,022,227 belongs to Frank and Donald Smith of Orlando, Florida. Because of their patent, the Smith brothers can officially be considered the Founding Fathers of the Comb-Over. And rightly so, the Smiths used some pretty advanced science in making application for their creation. This graphic was actually used in presenting the case for a patent.

Is it any wonder this patent was granted?

The most astonishing fact might be that this happened in 1974, 37 years ago.  What else was happening in 1974? What social and economic conditions existed to create the "perfect storm" needed to spark a game-changing idea like the Comb-Over?

• The economy was in a recession as unemployment surged from 4.9% at the beginning of the year to 7.2% by December of 1974. (Wouldn't we all be doing cartwheels if our unemployment numbers were at 7.2% today?)

• America was still stuck in the quagmire of Vietnam - and I think everyone agreed that we needed to get out of there ASAP.

• President Nixon resigned amid the Watergate scandal... and we inherited Gerald Ford , a nice enough guy... but he was no Nixon. (some people were very thankful for that)

• One-hit wonder were all over the radio - it was a particularly lame year, filled with wimpy songs from John Denver, Olivia Newton John, Jim Croce and Paul Anka singing his cringe-worthy tribute to pregnancy - “You’re Havin’ My Baby” --- (If I ever had to make a music mix to play in hell, I think it would be all of the #1 hits from 1974)

With the economic malaise, the trouble in our government, and a lack of art and inspiration in 1974 America, why wouldn’t the country be ripe for an invention like the comb over?

I had hoped to discover the magic moment that inspired the invention... What was the straw that broke the camel’s back and pushed this to the level we see illustrated above? A spouse’s cruel comment about baldness? Perhaps the inventors rationalized that a nation that was open to accepting the mullet, would also welcome the Comb-Over. We may never know, but thanks to the public records of the Patent Office, we can examine the inventor's rationale.

Here, published (possibly) for the first time outside of the Patent Offices is some of the "advanced thinking" that supported the theory of the Comb Over.

For those people who are partially bald and wish to cover the bald area hair transplants, hair weaving and hairpieces are the most commonly used solutions. The cost of covering bald areas by one of these methods can range from a few hundred dollars to thousands of dollars depending on a person's choice and financial means. Some of these commonly used bald area coverings require periodic care, which generally cost money.

Obviously a partially bald person without the financial means can not afford the luxury of such hair coverings. This person, therefore, has few options; he can attempt to use his own hair to cover the bald area, but generally most people do not have the ability to properly plan a hair style that will look good, and most attempts result in brushing the hair in one direction over the bald area, or he can allow his baldness to show.

Genius...

While the comb-over is still in use all over this great land, I’m guessing that the inventors (Frank & Donald Smith) or their surviving family members are not reaping the same financial rewards as the great minds that gave us the Flo-Bee, the Pocket Fisherman, or the George Foreman Grill.  So, I feel compelled to honor them here.

Were I in serving Congress, I might even propose that we find a day... preferably the least windy day of the year and proclaim it National Comb Over Day.

Stay tuned to The Blog for more "Patently Foolish" inventions.