Thanksgiving With USDA: A Time to Wash Your Hands, and Cook That Turkey Until All the Bacteria Are Dead

Forget Ebola. That turkey you've stored in your fridge all week is a ticking time bomb, and the U.S. Department of Agriculture is here to walk you through how to safely remove this threat from your home.

USDA has spent the last week offering advice about how to turn that plump, pathogen-laden ball of meat we call "turkey" into a safe and possibly even enjoyable meal.

'It looks safe enough... you try it first.'
Image source: USDA

Here are some of basics that USDA wants you to know about turkeys:

Bacteria is Everywhere

According to USDA, a raw turkey is possibly the most dangerous food you can bring into your house, with the possible exception of a Baked Alaska that is actively flaming as you walk it in.

Because raw turkey is dangerous, you have to store it in a refrigerator.

"Proper handling and storage of your turkey at a safe temperature are just as important as cooking it correctly," USDA said. "Forget to do so and you may end up serving harmful pathogens like Salmonella and Campylobacter to your guests."

Putting the turkey in the refrigerator slows the growth of these bacteria. USDA recommends a refrigerator thermometer to make sure it stays below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, don't lick the end of the thermometer that's in the raw turkey.

There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Thaw a Frozen Turkey

Keeping a turkey frozen is another way to keep bacteria at bay. But you can still screw it up when you go to thaw it.

According to USDA, there are only three safe ways to thaw a frozen turkey, and even then, USDA only recommends one of these methods.

One way is to let it sit in the refrigerator. If you do this, you need to put out a pan to catch the leaking, bacteria-ridden juices. "This is the USDA's recommended method of thawing," it said.

You can also submerge the turkey in cold water for several hours, or microwave it. But keep in mind, these are not recommended steps, so don't come crying to USDA when you botch it.

Wash Your Grubby Hands

Goes without saying, right? Well, USDA is saying it:

"[W]ash your hands with warm water and soap for 20 seconds," it advised. "This is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to prevent the spread of many types of infection and illness, including foodborne illness."

And if any "well-intentioned relatives" insist on helping, "just make sure these helpers wash their hands if they're planning on handling any food." USDA doesn't make any specific recommendations on which relatives to invite.

Stop Playing with Raw Turkey

USDA can't stress enough the importance of just leaving the raw turkey alone. Don't even try to wash it, you'll just spread all the pathogens around.

"Those bacteria can be present on and inside turkeys, and they cannot be cleaned off or killed by washing the bird," it said. "Washing a turkey only spreads these bacteria around your sink and counter, where they can cause harm."

Also, raw turkeys should not be passed around like those tired pictures of your nephews. Just let them sit off in the corner, like grandpa. And don't let them touch other foods you'll eat later.

"You should also use separate cutting boards, plates, and utensils to avoid cross-contamination," USDA said. "Items that have touched raw meat should be washed with warm soap and water or placed in the dishwasher."

Image source: USDA

Cook that Turkey Thoroughly Before It Hurts Someone

Get that thing in the oven quick, before it can do any more harm to you and your loved ones. When you cook it, it has to get to 165 degrees Fahrenheit, since that's the temperature at which pathogens get killed.

To be sure it's really cooked, you need to check that turkey the way a TSA agent pats down an airline passenger.

"The USDA recommends that you insert your food thermometer in three locations to determine the bird's temperature: the innermost part of the thigh, the innermost part of the wing, and the thickest part of the breast."

Even a Cooked Turkey is Risky

While you may have successfully cooked your turkey without anyone getting hurt, it still poses a real risk. Any leftovers that aren't put in the refrigerator right away could be a problem.

"Prompt storage can prevent pathogenic bacteria that cause foodborne illness from growing on your leftovers," USDA said. "These bacteria can’t be smelled or tasted."

If any of those relatives are leaving with food, the food will be safe if they're only two hours away. "If any guests are traveling more than two hours, their leftovers must be kept at 40 degrees Fahrenheit or below in a cooler with ice or frozen gel packs," it said. You can get the gel packs back from your relatives next Thanksgiving.

Call the Hotline

USDA has a hotline up and running on Thanksgiving day, from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Eastern time. Just call 1-888-674-6854, and they can walk you through your turkey emergency.

Of course, if you've just been handling raw turkey, you should wash your hands again before picking up the phone…