LAUGH FACTORY: Carbon-copy comics cry 'Epstein' on cue

Late-night hacks didn’t get the memo.

Sure, Democrats have been using the Epstein card for the better part of the year. Whenever President Donald Trump does anything they don’t like, which is anything, period, they claim it’s a distraction from the Epstein files.

Pratt wouldn’t be the first reality-show star to make waves in politics. Turns out that guy was a natural, in between McDonald’s shifts …

Because — all together now — the walls are closing in.

Except the Biden administration had access to said files for four years and never released them. Because, as we know, if there were incriminating details about Trump within them, Team Biden would have kept them safely tucked away from sight.

Sure, Jan.

Except now the “distraction from the Epstein files” defense is even sillier than ever. Why? We’ve already seen some of those files, and so far the only politician whose reputation suffered a hit was President Bill Clinton.

So what happened when Team Trump expertly corralled the criminal Venezuelan strongman Nicholas Maduro in a lightning strike they’ll make a movie about some day?

Team Late Night said the stunning raid was … no, really … a distraction from the Epstein files.

Kimmel. Fallon. Colbert.

Same talking points. Same complete lack of shame …

The timing couldn’t be better.

Move over, Tim

Our political culture is teeming with jackasses, from code-switch princess Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) to Minnesota’s soon-to-be-unemployed Gov. Tim Walz (D). That title might be too mild for former MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann.

Now, the professionals are coming back to stake their claim to the moniker.

A fifth “Jackass” movie is heading our way this June. The surprise project finds 50-something Johnny Knoxville and friends returning to their painful shtick that started on MTV too many years ago to count. OK, the show debuted in October 2000.

The boys have done everything from covering their bathing-suit areas with bees to literally sticking together courtesy of superglue.

What’s left? Maybe they can watch CNN for 24 hours straight without losing what’s left of their concussed minds …

Smear factor

One of the best running jokes in “This Is Spinal Tap” involves the group’s drummer. Or drummers, to be more precise. Sadly, playing the skins for the heavy metal band meant putting your life on the line. Literally. Think spontaneous combustion and choking on someone else’s vomit.

And, even more strange, a bizarre gardening accident.

On that scale, it’s a miracle that Foo Fighters guitarist Pat Smear is still with us. The 66-year-old rocker “smashed the s**t out of his foot” while gardening, at least according to the band’s Instagram account.

The Foo Fighters did star in the horror comedy “Studio 666,” so they have a healthy sense of humor. Did they turn a generic accident into a Tap-like riff?

Either way, he’ll be replaced on the current tour until his bones heal up. Let’s hope the band cranks it up to 11 upon his return …

From 'The Hills' to his honor?

Reagan. Ventura. Schwarzenegger. Franken. Trump. Pratt?

Reality-show veteran Spencer Pratt has been a thorn in the side of California Democrats following last year’s devastating Palisades fires. Pratt saw both the devastation left by poor land management and the feeble rebuilding efforts in his state.

Now, he’s doing something about it.

Pratty announced he’ll be running against Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass in the city’s next election.

"Let's make LA camera ready again!" he posted.

Pratt doesn’t have any real political experience, but could he be any worse than the current clown car running roughshod over the state? And, to be fair, he wouldn’t be the first reality-show star to make waves in politics. Turns out that guy was a natural, in between McDonald’s shifts …

RELATED: BURN NOTICE: 'Hills' heel Spencer Pratt to run for Los Angeles mayor

Photo by MEGA/GC Images

McCarthy's 'View' rue

Jenny McCarthy has singled out “The View,” and it ain’t pretty.

The model turned actress recalled her time on the feminist talk show on “The Katie Miller Podcast,” noting how its tone morphed during her one-year stint with the ABC chatfest.

She joined the gaggle to talk pop culture and other frothy subjects. Instead, the show took a political turn. No thanks, she said at the time.

And now, too.

"They've asked me to come back for, like, reunion shows," McCarthy said. "I was like, over my dead body would I ever step foot in that place."

Here’s betting Meghan McCain has a similar take on any reunion talk.