Why you should hold a family meeting this holiday season

Family meetings have long been a practice for wealthy families like the Rockefellers (who hold them twice a year). But with more complex issues facing families that affect family members’ time, money, and wishes, it is a good practice for every family to undertake, regardless of their wealth.

Spending a great deal of my time helping individuals and loved ones prepare for future challenges, as well as having personally been through the deaths of parents and caring for an aging father-in-law, I know firsthand how important it is to talk through these issues with your family.

Here are three topics you should cover with your loved ones as you get together this holiday or during the early parts of next year.

Aging

As loved ones age, there are a number of challenges that can wreak havoc on the life of the person aging, as well as the lives of their family members. The first is taking up significant time. Who might change their current day-to-day activities and give part-time or full-time care and advocacy for aging parents and grandparents is an important item to decide as a family, as caregiving can cause life disruption for whoever is charged with the care.

Additionally, the costs associated with aging, whether it is in enhanced living arrangements, outsourced part-time or full-time care, or increased medical expenses, can become a problem for all involved. Make sure that planning has taken place with appropriate insurance or other financial products brought on as early as possible and that a backup plan is in place if the expenses exceed any coverage.

You can put together your own repository of information or use a legacy and wishes planning system, like our Future File system, to help you to navigate the conversation and organize the information for easy access by all.

Emergencies

If there is an emergency, whether a medical emergency for a family member, a natural disaster, or an accident, does your family have a plan in place? Who needs to be called, and do they have the appropriate legal authority (such as powers of attorney) to act? Is there a meet-up location for a natural disaster or terror attack? Do you have a listing of and access to critical information, such as medical histories and other household information? Talking with your family about putting this together and supporting one another will help make dealing with anything unexpected go more smoothly.

Death

While death is a difficult subject, nothing can transform family members from allies to adversaries more quickly than the stress that comes with a loved one dying. There are a number of issues to consider, from laying the body to rest to wrapping up personal affairs. On the former, it is critical to talk through preferences related to cremation versus burial. This not only prevents fighting through clarity of wishes but also can impact the family.

For example, regarding burial, do other generations of family members want to be buried with their loved ones? If so, you need to find and purchase burial plots that can accommodate a larger number of people.

Also, personal wishes, such as how you want a prized collection cared for or who gets items that hold more sentimental than monetary value, are areas where loved ones who are left behind can find themselves fighting without transparency up front.

And, obviously, clarity on money-related issues, including who is the estate executor and why, who is getting what portion of the estate and why, and where are the accounts and safe deposit boxes or storage located, among other items, can avoid significant family rifts, as well as a drag on time.

Again, you can put together a list yourself or use a system like our Future File legacy and wishes planning system to help guide your family through the information that they need.

Use your holidays or New Year not only to celebrate the good times and talk about family projects but also as an opportunity to plan for other life cycle events that affect every family. Preparation is the best legacy gift you can give your family this year and every year.