Whitlock: The NFL ‘pump and dump’ scheme has fallen and can’t get up

The NFL reminds me of “The Smartest Guys in the Room,” the documentarythat chronicled the collapse of Enron.

Roger Goodell is Jeffrey Skilling, the CEO who appeared to save Enron with a devious accounting scheme that allowed the company to claim projected earnings as immediate profits. Corporate media and market analysts ignored the obvious fraud for years, celebrating Skilling and Enron founder Kenneth Lay as visionary geniuses.

Eventually, Enron filed for bankruptcy, and federal prosecutors convicted Skilling and Lay of securities fraud. The smartest guys in the room proved to be not so smart.

A similar comeuppance awaits Goodell. He will go down in history as the man who oversaw the fall of professional football.

Nothing is more overvalued than the NFL. This year’s product is the worst the game has ever produced. The league’s most interesting story is a manufactured love story between America’s top pop star (Taylor Swift) and a vaccinated tight end (Travis Kelce). The on-field product is sloppy and uninteresting.

This weekend’s slate of games produced just two teams that could score more than 26 points. The Dolphins scored 42 points in a rout of the Panthers, and the Jaguars put up 37 points in a blowout of the Colts. The league’s Sunday night showcase between the Giants and the Bills mercifully ended at 14-9, with the Bills scoring two fourth-quarter touchdowns. Two weeks ago, six NFL teams failed to score a single touchdown. How about this? The Tennessee Titans have scored fewer than 30 points in 24 straight games.

NFL teams are averaging just 2.32 TDs per game, the lowest average in 18 years. Individual teams are kicking 2.12 field goals per game, the highest average since the 1970s. The average of 1.84 field goals made is the highest in league history.

This is all odd. Over the past four decades, the league has implemented rule after rule to increase scoring and touchdowns. Bump-and-run coverage has basically been outlawed. You can’t blow up a receiver running across the middle. You can’t blindside-block a defender. You almost have to ask permission to sack a quarterback. Receivers now wear gloves that make catching a pass easier than at any time in football history. Referees love calling pass interference and illegal contact. Quarterbacks routinely complete 70% of their passes.

For all the trouble, rule changes, and alleged quarterback wizardry, all we’re getting is more field goals and 16-14 snooze festivals.

Taylor Swift is the biggest NFL star. Swift and Deion Sanders replaced Tom Brady as the game’s top ambassadors.

This is Enron 2.0. It's a bad product camouflaged by the social media matrix and corporate media influencers more concerned with maintaining access than objectively evaluating the league. The NFL moved Thursday Night Football and the Sunday Ticket to Amazon and YouTube, respectively, because ownership realizes it’s far easier to manipulate and control viewership with internet algorithms.

Why is the product tanking?

Because high-level football requires practice. Teams no longer practice. Under the pretense of protecting players from head injuries, teams no longer practice. They train. They condition. They conduct walkthroughs. They do not practice. Not in pads. And not in any real way.

Players are doing far less and getting paid way more. They’re stockbrokers pitching penny stocks as blue chip. Think Jordan Belfort, the “Wolf of Wall Street.” NBC, Fox, ESPN, CBS, Amazon, and YouTube are the guys hanging on Belfort’s every word in the classic scene from the “Wolf of Wall Street.”

“My killas. My killas who will not take no for an answer. My warriors who will not hang up the phone until their client either buys or f***ing dies.”

They want football fans to believe that Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, Jalen Hurts, Lamar Jackson, and all the rest are the second coming of Brady, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, Dan Marino, and John Elway.

It’s not true. You have to actually practice to play at the level of the all-time greats. You can’t build a cohesive offensive line if you don’t practice. You can’t establish a consistent and reliable running game if you don’t practice.

The players don’t care about the product. They care about their brands and their money. They’re entitled. They feel sorry for themselves. I don’t blame them. They watch and listen to sports talk shows and podcasts that paint them as victims and treat them as idols above criticism. The people analyzing the game are liars. They won’t tell you what they see, what’s obvious.

The game is in rapid decline. Most of the quarterbacks simply cannot read a defense. You learn to read a defense in practice. Again, teams no longer practice. You don’t need to read a defense or firmly grasp the playbook in order to excel or get paid in the modern NFL.

The coaches tape the plays to the quarterbacks' wrists and tell them what to do in an earpiece installed in the helmet. You don’t have to win the postseason to secure a major contract. Every starting NFL quarterback gets paid eventually.

The problem is only going to get worse. College quarterbacks are now earning millions of dollars through name-image-likeness deals. You can secure a high six-figure deal before you play a college game. The entitlement and brattiness of the players are major turnoffs. Athletes are as unlikable and as difficult to relate to as Hollywood actors.

Football is trending in the wrong direction. The product is awful. The referees exercise more influence over the outcomes than anyone on the field. Fantasy sports and gambling will only mask the uninspiring play for so long.

The smartest guys in football are just as stupid as the smartest guys at Enron.