Alleged Yale Law Student Goes Absolutely Ballistic on His Colleagues in Obscenity-Laced Goodbye Letter: 'Clarence Thomas Ain't Got Sh** on Me

Here's some advice (free of charge!): If you get to a point where realize you’re unhappy with what you’re doing and your colleagues have become unbearable, it's probably best to quietly bow out and move on with your life. Keep it drama-free.

Or you could freak out and give a big, fat rhetorical middle finger to everyone around you.

The following letter from an alleged Yale Law student falls into the second category.

Fed up with his apparently humorless and hypocritical colleagues, a Yale Law student recently posted an open letter to the school's listserv explaining why he hates each and every one of them. It's pretty brutal

The letter was later re-posted by “Above The Law” [warning: very strong language has been redacted and emphases added]:

Dear tYLS or tWall or whatever dumb sh** you call it these days:

I am a second-semester 3L. How exciting. In a surprising turn of events, I decided I want to work for a couple of years at a law firm but eventually try to become a published author, or, if that fails, get a Ph.D. and try to become a professor.

Why am I telling you all of this? It’s because I wanted to thank you all for inspiring me to follow my passions and my dreams. Specifically, these passions and dreams are writing and making fun of people.

I realized I hate law and politics. Why? Because I literally hate like 90% of you, and honestly I don’t really feel like going down the path that involves being stuck with even more people like you who literally have no sense of humor and get offended over literally everything. You think Clarence Thomas hates YLS? Clarence Thomas ain’t got SH** on me.

I’ve watched as you guys get offended over the dumbest sh** and wax political over the dumbest sh**. LOL. I mean wow, and seriously, this f***ing school. If the sticks up your a**es were any larger, you guys would give Muslim extremists a run for their money. I thought Muslim terrorists were pretty bad for getting offended to the point of wanting to cause physical violence over a drawing, but I’m willing to bet there are a couple of words I could throw out there on this forum that would turn even you guys into rabid angry dogs. Anger. And Hatred. Over a WORD. A F***ING WORD. USED OUT OF CONTEXT. I’ve come to realize that even at the smartest, most “enlightened” institution, students can be literally retarded and have no basic grasp of logic or rationality.

Also, you guys are a bunch of judgmental s***bags and hypocrites who haven’t understood the concept of “don’t judge a book by its cover” (speaking of metaphorical phrases, ever hear of “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? How has this somehow been twisted in your f***ed-up minds to “words also hurt me too really bad so please stop hurting my feelings you big weenie!”).

You guys openly judged me for not speaking out after the Yale DKE scandal, telling me I didn’t care enough about sexual assault and feminist causes. For your f***ing information my sister had been sexually assaulted the winter before, and I had written my senior thesis, law school personal statement, AND 250 on human trafficking/sexual assault. You guys then criticized the sh** out of “monster” parents like Amy Chua and other tiger mothers after the Battle Hymn/WSJ incident, not bothering to think perhaps you might have been seriously offending some Asian students, who, like me, may have grown up under similar circumstances and still loved our parents and knew our parents loved us. To show you why that is offensive, imagine the extremist reaction if someone on the Wall criticized black or Hispanic culture. I’m not sure how criticizing Asian culture is any different, but I guess we don’t count as people. Finally, in the coup de grace, you guys criticized me for being a flake and giving up on my public interest dreams and going corporate. Little did you know the reason I decided to go corporate was because my parents, who are making less than $20k to support 4 students (i.e., family of 6), declared bankruptcy the summer before law school and I thought as the oldest son it was my responsibility to do something about it. The affirmative action “debate” was the camel that broke the straw’s back, and actually, that was the first important step that pushed me towards trying to realize my dreams of writing for a living.

So seriously, fu** you guys, you judgmental, uninformed pricks, patting yourselves on the back on top of your go**amn moral high horses. I realize I am killing my future political career. GOOD. If you’ve read The Republic, you know exactly what my opinion of politicians are. I realize I am burning bridges. EXCELLENT. If I succeed in my passions, I want to make damn sure it is without the help of any of you phony-a** sh*****ks. I’ve ALREADY gotten compliments about how inspirational I am, and I haven’t even f***ing started yet. That’s the biggest compliment I’ve ever received in my life. It’ll probably take you guys 10-20 years to get that even once, so good luck and keep up the good work! /sarcasm.

In a slightly more serious note–if I could convince even just ONE of you uptight mother****ers to just relax a little bit, learn to laugh, stop getting so offended over everything, and stop being so judgmental and hypocritical and hurting other people’s feelings in the process, the burnt bridges would be so worth it.

I know I could have waited until the end of the semester to send this, but it would provide me endless entertainment to see the expressions on your stupid-a** faces for the rest of the semester.

TLDR; f**k you, f**k you, f**k you, you’re cool, f**k you, I’m out (oh wait, I realized you guys probably don’t even watch movies based on marijuana just in case you get asked about it on the bar, so you probably missed the movie reference. Mea culpa).

Hugs and Kisses,

[Redacted]

p.s. I have a $100 desk chair I bought from Ikea that I don’t want any more and am willing to sell to you for $99.50 OBO.

p.p.s. I know I should probably use the spreadsheet for this but I’m too lazy so I don’t feel like it but I have a torts book for sale that nobody will want to buy since torts isn’t offered this semester but I am going to try to pawn it off anyway.

p.p.p.s. I was wondering if anyone has an extra macbook, preferably a macbook air because that would be easier on my shoulders. Standard offer of good conversation and baked goods apply.

Wow. Well then. Tell us how you really feel.

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(H/T: Business Insider). Front page photo courtesy Getty Images.