After having an abortion without telling the father of the child, a woman penned an emotional apology letter to him and posted it online.
In the 425-word letter signed with a simple "M," Reddit user silenced0213 said she was "scared" that the father of her child would reject, blame or hate her. She wrote that she was also afraid that he would agree with her decision to have an abortion.
"I was convinced that you would ditch me if I made the decision to keep it," the letter said. "I was convinced that you would be like my dad and that I would have to do it all on my own. I was convinced that you already had your life and wouldn't want the added pressure of two more."
"I'm sorry that I didn't confide in you and face my fears," she wrote. "I'm sorry that you didn't get a chance to say goodbye... or even say hello."
Several Reddit users who commented on the anonymous letter offered encouragement to the woman, saying her decision not to tell the father about the abortion was warranted.
"You risk your own life in childbirth, his 'possible' emotional pain is secondary," user pk666 posted.
"There are many guys who promise their pregnant girlfriends just about anything to get them to continue their pregnancies and keep their babies," Reddit user Susan102 commented. Citing the MTV show "16 and Pregnant," that user made the argument that raising children is such hard work that oftentimes the father — who promised to help out — will eventually bail.
"So it's entirely understandable that [the author] had an abortion without telling the father about it," Susan102 wrote. "Personally, I don't think she has anything to apologize for."
Other Reddit users encouraged the woman to reach out to the father instead of posting an anonymous message online.
"This still seemed to be all about you, it's lacking heart. I'm sorry and I'm ready for downvotes, but just tell him, don't post it on reddit. You really feel bad do something real with it, not this," wrote user jeb_manion.
Read the entirety of the letter below:
To the father of the baby I aborted, I'm sorry that I didn't include you in my decision. I should have and I regret it to this day. Telling you crossed my mind. Everyday... it still does. But in my way I thought that'd I'd protect you from the panic, fear, and dread that I felt. See I was scared. Scared that you'd reject me... even more scared that you would agree with my decision. I was scared of possibly seeing the look of disgust and hatred on your face. I was scared that you would blame me. I was scared that you would hate the life inside of me. But I was also scared that you would change my mind. I was scared that you would convince me everything would work out. I was scared that you would offer your support. I was scared that you would take its side. I was scared. I convinced myself that I didn't need to confide in you, that you had no say. I was convinced that it wouldn't have worked, that neither of us were cut out to be parents. I was convinced that you would ditch me if I made the decision to keep it. I was convinced that you would be like my dad and that I would have to do it all on my own. I was convinced that you already had your life and wouldn't want the added pressure of two more. I was convinced that I was right, and I didn't need your opinion. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you because that life was half of you. I'm sorry that I didn't confide in you and face my fears. I'm sorry that you didn't get a chance to say goodbye... or even say hello. I'm sorry that you missed the opportunity to be a father. I'm sorry that you didn't get a choice. But you never knowing... i may have saved you the endless thoughts, the deep ridden regret, the aching emptiness as the due date draws near. I may have saved you the guilt of being free of that responsibility and pressure. I may have saved you the anger and fear. But I may have deprived you of one of the greatest joys in your life just as I have done to myself. And there are no words to explain how cruel and selfish I was in making that decision without you... there are no words to express an apology with the utmost sincerity. Please forgive me. -M.