People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is attempting to destroy all the fun Mike Opelka has at minor league baseball games. On today's "Pure Opelka," he passionately advocated for his favorite between-innings entertainment: the monkey rodeo.
York, Pennysylvania's Revolution caved to PETA's demands to exclude the beloved monkey rodeo from this season. The animal rights group claims that the Capuchin monkeys featured in this form of family entertainment can sustain neck injuries.
Mike said "If you've ever been to one of these, that doesn't happen." He described the monkeys as dressed in little cowboy outfits while riding dog breeds associated with sheep herding. PETA cites the dogs' speeds of up to 30 miles per hour as a risk to the monkeys.
His own minor league team in Delaware, the Blue Rocks, successfully fended off a PETA protest against their own monkey rodeo via fan counter-protests. PETA demonstrators were grossly outnumbered by fans, 7132 to 10, proof that when people stand up for something, they can protect it.
PETA has launched efforts across the nation to end monkey rodeos, and Mike implored fans of family entertainment and minor league baseball to fight back at every instance. He is even Twitter friends with the famous, ironically-named cowboy monkey Whiplash, who is so popular he needs his own account.