Ding-dong Colbert's crude ICE joke leaves us cold

It's bad enough that when Stephen Colbert’s “The Late Show" ends in May, democracy will die. But we'll also lose one of our nation's finest joke-smiths.

Case in point? Colbert’s latest riff on ICE agents enforcing the law in Minnesota.

Whenever a woke movie or TV show gets blitzed by fans, the legacy media rushes to blame 'review bombing' as the culprit. It’s never the show’s fault, mind you.

The far-left comic noted the chilly temperatures facing Minneapolis residents this weekend, impacting both protesters and law enforcement agents. That’s a modicum of good news regarding the latter, Colbert crowed.

“This weekend, temperatures in Minneapolis are expected to plunge to around zero degrees, which could hinder the Trump administration's continuing immigration crackdown. ... I mean this with respect: I hope their dongs freeze and snap off. Like a graham cracker.”

Steve Allen. Jack Paar. Johnny Carson. None delivered wit and wisdom quite like Colbert. He will be missed (assuming he stays away for good!).

Hudson's Diamond status

Hollywood has forgiven Kate Hudson for crushing the rom-com apparently.

The star of the awful, terrible, no-good “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” (and other forgettable low points of the genre) kept on working after that cinematic train wreck. Meanwhile Oscar voters looked the other way.

Hard. Can you blame them?

That ended this week when Hudson’s performance in “Song Sung Blue” snagged her a Best Actress Oscar nomination. It’s a wonderful, bittersweet story about a Neil Diamond tribute duo falling on hard times. And to be fair to Goldie Hawn’s daughter, she knocks it out of the park in the film.

Few expected Hudson to crack the top-five list of the year’s best performances by an actress, but she defied the odds. Let’s hope she continues to stay far away from Matthew McConaughey.

Potty-mouth Pratt

You kiss your mother with that mouth, Star-Lord?

Chris Pratt isn’t just an A-lister who can do comedy and action. He’s a Christian husband and father who speaks kindly about his faith. And he doesn’t bully those who don’t share his worldview.

Rare. Refreshing. Cool.

Yet the “Mercy” star lost it on the red carpet when actress Tilly Norwood’s name came up. Tilly isn’t real. She’s an AI construct whose very existence threatens flesh-and-blood actors who fear losing their livelihoods in the AI revolution.

That includes Pratt apparently.

“I don’t feel like someone’s going to replace me that’s AI ... I heard this Tilly Norwood thing, I think that’s all bull***t. I’ve never seen her in a movie. I don’t know who this b***h is.”

Guessing he’ll be putting a few dollars in the swear jar.

RELATED: Brave Hollywood stars hit Sundance red carpet in defiance of ICE 'gestapo' terror

Photos by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images

No 'bomb' shelter for 'Melania'

Let the review bombing commence!

Whenever a woke movie or TV show gets blitzed by fans, the legacy media rushes to blame “review bombing” as the culprit. It’s never the show’s fault, mind you, just angry bigots who hate seeing diversity on screens large and small.

Yeah, that’s why the uber-diverse “Fast & Furious” series lasted for 10 films ... and counting.

The latest alleged review bombing victim? Paramount Plus’ “Starfleet Academy” series.

So will we see the same media framing for “Melania"? The January 30 documentary takes us behind the scenes of what it means to be FLOTUS in the Trump era. Now given that the vast, vast, vast majority of film critics lean to the left (and hard), will the movie get a fair critical shake?

And if not, will we see cries of “review bombing” from the usual suspects? To paraphrase Bret Easton Ellis’ literary classic, the chances are “less than zero.”

Closet-maxxing on 'SNL'

To be fair, today’s “Saturday Night Live” fan isn’t familiar with actual jokes.

“Stranger Things” alum Finn Wolfhard hosted the most recent “SNL” episode, one featuring a sketch tweaking the Netflix’s show’s “coming out” sequence. The episode in question got drubbed by many as woke on steroids.

So “SNL” created a bit mocking Netflix for trying to extend the show’s brand at all costs. It’s a commentary on how Hollywood can’t stop milking popular IPs for all they’re worth. Did anyone ask for “Welcome to Derry,” the HBO Max prequel series to Stephen King’s “It"?

Except one of the show’s characters, Will, couldn’t be a part of the various spin-offs because his “coming out” monologue is still going on. And on. And on.

Well select fans recoiled at the bit. Here’s a sample:

“SNL making fun of will byers being gay and sexualising max mayfield all in one night,” a fan commented. “Me if i ordered a homophobicburger with a side of misogynyfries.”

Good news for all involved. The show will no doubt resume its regularly scheduled Orange Man Bad theater this weekend.