10 Liberal Limericks for 2013

In clear violation of op-ed protocol, this week I’m suspending prose and having a little good, clean, limericky fun at liberals’ expense because – well, because they just make it so darn easy. (Warning: Some are bad and others worse. Side effects may include groaning, nausea, vomiting and involuntary eye-rolling.)

Here they are in no particular order. Happy New Year, and may God bless you in 2014! (Yes, you too, my liberal friends.)

Duck Flap

There once was a fella named Phil,

With truisms liberals found shrill,

Though they cried for his head,

They got duck-slapped instead,

As old Phil just continues to chill.

Phil Roberson in his "I Am Second" video. (Source: I Am Second screen shot) 

GLAAD Tidings

There once was an outfit called GLAAD,

That when faced with the Truth gets real mad,

Though they pout and they fuss,

And they stomp and they cuss,

They alter the Truth not a tad.

Photo Credit: www.gladd.com

Low Ratings

M – S – N – B – C is on cable,

Spinning news, weaving yarns and tall fables,

With an agenda from Sodom,

And ratings rock bottom,

They have hosts that are questionably stable.

Occupy This

Occupy Wall Street did sizzle,

But in 2013 it did fizzle,

As we all remained patient,

They returned to mom’s basement,

With outrage that proved artificial.

A protester affiliated with the "Occupy Wall Street" protests stands with a US dollar bill taped over his mouth in Zuccotti Park in New York, on Monday, Oct. 10, 2011. (AP Photo/Andrew Burton)

Healthcare.gov

The Obamacare roll-out disaster,

Made media question their master,

But doubt was short-lived,

As the suck up revived,

To the din of conservative laughter.

[sharequote align="center"]The Obamacare roll-out disaster, Made media question their master...[/sharequote]

This Nov. 29, 2013 file photo shows part of the HealthCare.gov website in Washington, on Nov. 29, 2013. (AP Photo/Jon Elswick, File) 

Fore!

There once was a man from Chicago,

A golf aficionado,

Who teed off on our freedom,

And caused speech induced tedium,

Empty suit with a hopey-change motto.

President Barack Obama prepares to tee off while golfing at Vineyard Golf Club in Edgartown, Mass. , on the island of Martha's Vineyard Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2013. (AP) 

Thanks, Michelle

There once was a chain-smoking POTUS,

Who gave children a lunch lady FLOTUS,

She swapped meat, sweets and bread,

With beansprouts instead,

Adding tofu and seaweed for bonus.

US First Lady Michelle Obama eats a turkey taco for lunch while sitting with school children in the cafeteria at Parklawn Elementary School in Alexandria, Virginia, January 25, 2012. Credit: AFP/Getty Images 

New Constitution

Of Obama’s Amendments least favored,

He finds First, Fourth and Second ill-flavored,

If you’d just shut your mouth,

And disarm there, Deep South,

He could kick in your door most unlabored.

Photo Credit: Gerald Herbert/AP 

“Gay Marriage”

The Supreme Court did redefine marriage,

And defenders of marriage disparage,

Newfound “right” they pretend,

Has Stephan to wed Sven,

Yet no Sally means no baby carriage.

Plastic figurines depicting a female couple and a male couple, displayed on a table, at the Gay marriage fair, in Paris, Saturday, April 27, 2013. Credit: AP 

Cruz Control

There once was a leader from Texas,

Whom RINOs did label as reckless,

Spoke a day without resting,

All his critics thus besting,

With a smack-down on federal excesses.

Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, is seen on a television in the Senate Press Gallery as he speaks during the seventh hour of his filibuster on the Senate floor at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, Tuesday, Sept. 24, 2013.  (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

–

TheBlaze contributor channel supports an open discourse on a range of views. The opinions expressed in this channel are solely those of each individual author.