Back To School, Back to Moochelle Obama's Food Rules

Once upon a school day, 8-year-old Samm's stomach rumbled and growled. He was really, really, really hungry.

He hadn't eaten breakfast ‘cause he dillydallied when he walked the dog, fed the cat, make his bed, and dug through his closet searching for his favorite shirt. Now, he couldn’t wait for lunch, especially since Teacher had explained how the cafeteria would be serving “new and improved” lunches that would be very tasty.

Yum! Yum! Yum!

When the lunch bell rang, Sammy’s class filed into the cafeteria.

Right away, “Uh oh,” Sammy detected a really-bad-icky-barfy smell.

The cafeteria lady handed Sammy his tray: A wrapped something that looked like a hamburger, two carrot sticks, three stalks of celery, six grapes about to become raisins, one eggplant cookie, and a 12-ounce container of gray milk.

Sammy sat at a table and unwrapped his something that looked like hamburger. But, it wasn’t a hamburger at all.

“Yuck!” He poked at the rubbery “pink slime” patty that stuck to the whole grain bun.

Sammy took a bite, spit it out, and proclaimed (a little too loudly), “This tastes like upchuck.”

Courtesy of Author.

Before you could say “clean your plate,” the Food Gestapo Lady marched to Sammy’s table. She flashed her squinty-eye-you-are-in-trouble-kiddo look at him, and clenched her fists. “Eat your lunch, or else!”

“But . . but . . . but . . . it doesn’t taste good.”

The Food Gestapo Lady said, "I don’t know if your parents paid their fair share for your lunch, but I can find out. If they haven't . . . I know where you live."

Sammy became very, very, very pale and picked up the something-that-looked-like-a hamburger, but wasn’t, and bit into it. He gagged again, and upchucked on the Food Gestapo Lady’s shiny black combat boots.

Courtesy of Author.

Sammy sat in the Principal’s office for the rest of lunch period and watched a video presentation from the Food Nanny Moochelle Obama explaining why eating real meat was bad, but eating nutritious pink slime was good. It made him so sick to his tummy he forgot to be hungry.

So, dear parents and/or grandparents . . .

How infuriating is it for your child to be forced to eat tasteless food as decreed by Mochelle Obama? Does she hold an advanced degree in nutrition? No. Is she qualified to determine the proper amount of milk that children should drink daily? No, but she is an expert on milking the system.

Moochelle Obama has been working the food circuit since 2005, when she (because of her vast experience as a nutritional expert) was named to the corporate board of Wall-Mart processed foods supplier, TreeHouse Foods Inc. For her valuable input, she received $45,000 in 2005, $51,200 in 2006, plus 7,500 TreeHouse stock options worth more than $216,000.

[sharequote align="center"]Moochelle's food program has nothing to do with nutrition.[/sharequote]

Just like the Unaffordable Care Act (Obamacare) has nothing to do with health care, Moochelle Obama's food program has nothing to do with nutrition. Zip. Zero. Nada.

The Food Nanny’s lunch program has everything to do with personal power and money. Lots of money.

Moochelle has become an insatiable crony at the center of the Fed Foods racket. Her nonprofit Partnership for a Healthier America has reported assets of $4.5 million from secret donors (so much for transparency) who cough up big bucks to keep their products on school lunch menus.

An example of schools pushing back against Food Nanny lunches is the Los Angeles Unified School District where $100,000 dollars per day were being wasted on food the kids described as “tasting like vomit.”

Declaring Mochelle-approved menus to be “flops” and a “disaster,” L.A. schools switched back to their former, less costly, lunch menus that offered foods children actually would eat, including hard boiled eggs, yogurt, and whole milk.

Courtesy of Author.

So, what’s next in the battle to control what our kids eat?

Police arresting children who bring unapproved foods like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school? Or union thugs patrolling school sidewalks to threaten older children who head off-campus at lunchtime to buy edible nourishment? Or graduation certificates withheld from student body leaders who refuse to endorse mystery-meat hamburgers? (OKOKOK, so I made that one up. But it could happen!)

The sad truth is Moochelle’s “let’s feed our kids good food” program (financed by taxpayer dollars) is really about fraud, lies, and corporate ties. Oh my!

P.S. Want a little more snark in your day? DAILY RANTS are available on Molli’s website, along with a FREE download of her quick-read book, “Uncle SCAM Wants Your Money and Your Country.” Use her humor to help you initiate conversations with the less-aware people in your universe. Entertain, then enlighten with the truth about our need to wake up, wise up, stand up, speak out, and push back to fundamentally un-transform Obama’s America.

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