Once upon a long, cold winter night, the good citizens in the shining city on the hill, crossed their fingers and hoped spring would arrive soon. However, inside the locked-down White House, not a glimmer of hope could be seen by the Prince of Hope-n-Change who wallowed in despair.
When all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a computer mouse, the Prince tiptoed into his secret consultation room for a comfort session with his most trusted advisor.
Courtesy of Author.
He tapped on his magic mirror and whined, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, why am I not belov’d by all?”
The mirror fogged over, then cleared. The Prince rubbed his eyes in shock at the appearance of a laid-back surfer guy.
He asked, “Um . . . who are you?”
“Just call me Dude. The temp agency sent me to cover for the magic mirror lady while she works a gig at a Democrat fundraiser. She’s predicting winners and losers in the upcoming congressional elections.”
“Will she be back . . . un . . . soon”
“She gets back when she gets back. We got a little problem here? Think I’m not magically endowed ‘cause I’m not decked out in cape, wand, and sparkly tiara? Are you racially profiling me ‘cause I’m a pasty white guy?”
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The Prince stammered, “Well, not exactly . . . but . . . “
Dude laughed, “Mello out bro, I’m just messin’ with your head.”
He rubbed his hands together. “So, what’s happening? You’re not feelin’ the love? Poll numbers dropping? Hem kissers are AWOL and not begging you to cancel vacation plans and help with their re-election campaigns?”
The Prince slumped and nodded, “Un . . . ah . . . yes.”
Dude rubbed his hands together.
“Okie Doakie. Let’s figure out the cause and then map out a course of action. First, I got a question. How do you think people feel when you treat them like they are stupid, stupid, stupid?”
The Prince frowned. “I don’t know, I never did that.”
“Really? I’ll rephrase. What happens when the leader of the country, You-the-President, tell gobsmacking whoppers because you think They-the-People are too friggin’ stupid to understand they are not being told the truth?”
“I never did that!”
Dude rolled his eyes in disbelief. “Hmmmm. Time to reboot the ole’ memory.
“Remember your promise about how you would jump-start the economy with a $787 Billion Dollar stimulus package for shovel-ready jobs? The truth? There were zip, zero, nada shovel-ready jobs.”
“I didn’t know that at the time.”
“Really? Mr. President Dude, you are the president. Correct-0-mente? You’re supposed to know that. Instead of 'whoopsie' and cancelling the program, you took the cash and gave it to blue states, entitlements, and your cronies’ green energy projects. As a consequence, your citizens began to doubt your honesty and your judgment.”
The Prince rubbed his eyes. “OK, so I made a little smidgeon of a mistake. I promised something I couldn’t deliver. I moved on, why can’t they?”
“Aha! That’s the problem. You didn’t move on. You super glued yourself in the same-oh-same-oh-lying-through-your-teeth mode about what you were gonna’ do to turn around America’s economy.”
President Barack Obama attends a communications planning meeting in the Roosevelt Room of the White House, July 6, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
“You were gonna rebuild the economy. Really? 91.8 Million able-bodied Americans aren’t working. You didn’t rebuild that.
“Then you were gonna’ rebuild America’s manufacturing base. Really? Your policies forced businesses to contract, close, or move off shore. You didn’t rebuild that.
“How about your promises to rebuild the health care system? Really? Keep your doctor, keep your plan, save money . . . lie after lie after lie. You didn’t rebuild the best healthcare system on the planet, you destroyed it.
“And you never apologized for lying to your citizens, not even after they caught on.”
The Prince whined. “But . . . but . . . I believed what my advisors told me. I only said what they told me to say. It wasn’t my fault, not really. . .”
Dude held up his hand, “Yeah, right. Don’t interrupt. I’m on a roll here.
“Because you don’t speak the truth, your trust factor is in the sub-basement. Your citizens are really edgy because they realize you are not a leader. You don’t/won’t/can’t lead the country. Your focus is more on basketball scores, your golf game, and enhancing your personal image than on national policies.
“You not only break promises and tell lies to your own people, you do the same to leaders of other countries. Guess what? They now believe you are untrustworthy and weak and your country is untrustworthy and weak, weak, weak.
“Remember when you broke America’s promise to build a missile defense system in Poland? Did this build trust in you and confidence (at home and abroad) in your leadership skills? No, you didn’t build that.
“Remember when you drew that red line and told the world not to cross it? When Syria did, you denied having drawn the line. Did this build trust in you and confidence (at home and abroad) in your leadership skills? No, you didn’t build that.
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"You waggled your finger at Vladimar Putin, the President of Russia, and threatened sanctions after he had grabbed the Crimean peninsula. Did this build trust in you and confidence (at home and abroad) in your leadership skills? No, you didn’t build that.
“The inconvenient truth here, Mr. Prince Dude, is that under your watch the world has become a much more dangerous place. For example . . .”
The Prince interrupted, “But . . . but . . . but . . . I got the Nobel Peace Prize.”
“Big friggin’ deal. What are you gonna’ do with it? Use it to bludgeon the bad guys into submission? Stop interrupting me.
“Under your watch, North Korea’s Crazy-Dictator joined the nuclear club. Iran’s next. Syria’s Assad continues to bomb, maim, and starve his own citizens. Libya’s collapsing under terrorist control. Poland is unprotected. Egypt’s in turmoil. Al Qaeda’s back in Iraq. And Putin’s Chinese buddies are saber rattling at Japan.
“Your recent proclamation about Russia being a regional problem is 100 percent not true. Vladimir Putin is your worst nightmare and the #1 most feared tyrant-murderer- gangster on the planet.
“However, Putin’s a folk hero to his people. He’s defied America and lived to tell the tale. He swims in freezing rivers and rides horseback shirtless to display his manliness. Putin makes jokes about how you ride a girly-man bike wearing mommy jeans and a safety helmet.
Courtesy of Author.
“When you backed away from Syria, you left a power vacuum in the Mid-East. Putin stepped in and double pinky-promised he would gather up all of Syria’s chemical weapons. However, 95 percent of the stockpile remains hidden in warehouses around the country.
“Putin is busy, busy, busy expanding Russian imperialism beyond the borders of the former Soviet Union. He’s not afraid of your finger waggle of disapproval. No biggie. He knows you won’t interfere.
“Americans understand how your disingenuous warnings and empty threats encourage Putin to pursue his aggressive goals. Your citizens are very, very, very afraid of what he will do next.”
“But . . . but . . . but . . . I didn’t know about Putin. Bush vouched for him. Bush said he looked into Putin’s eyes and ‘got a sense of his soul.’ I believed Bush. It’s all his fault.”
Dude sighed, exasperated. “Oh man, I can’t believe you said that! My brain’s gonna explode. I need a week of surfing to wash you outta my head. But, before I leave, I gotta’ try, one more time, to help you understand about truth and consequences.”
Dude closed his eyes, exhaled, and waggled his finger at the Prince. A mist swirled in the mirror as his image faded.
Moments later, a scream echoed through the corridors of the White House.
Courtesy of Author.
FREE BOOK to read and share. Click Here for the link to Molli’s 96-page book of political fables, “Uncle SCAM Wants Your Money and Your Country.” Use the stories in to help you start conversations that entertain, enlighten, and inspire others to wake up, wise up, stand up, speak out, and push back. Additional fables and rants also are posted at Molli’s blog.
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