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Deion Sanders is headed for last place in the Pac-12. Does it matter?
Icon Sportswire / Contributor, Andy Cross/MediaNews Group/The Denver Post / Contributor | Getty Images

Deion Sanders is headed for last place in the Pac-12. Does it matter?

In a society that no longer values merit, the biggest losers are the predetermined winners.

With a fifth straight loss this Friday night at Washington State, Deion Sanders can wrap up last place in the Pac-12 Conference.

Yep. Colorado’s 34-31 loss to Arizona on Saturday made the Buffaloes “Last-Place Bowl” eligible.

Colorado versus WSU is the brawl for it all, a clash between the West Coast’s two worst major college teams. The Cougars (4-6, 1-6) are riding a six-game losing streak into the showdown. Just like the Buffaloes (4-6, 1-6), Washington State relies on a one-dimensional, all-pass offense to compensate for a defense that gives up more than 30 points per game in league play.

Friday’s loser will finish the season with no more than two Pac-12 wins, which would guarantee the team at least a share of last place. A loss Friday would make Colorado a heavy favorite to own last place outright, considering it finishes the season traveling to 16th-ranked Utah.

The Coach Prime miracle turnaround in Boulder has a good chance of landing in the exact same spot as Karl Dorrell’s last CU team: looking up at every other team in its conference.

Matching Dorrell would be quite an accomplishment for Coach Prime, corporate and social media’s leading candidate for national coach of the year. He would make history. No coach in Power Five history has ever garnered the level of hype and worship showered on Coach Prime while never rising above his conference’s cellar.

Based on Colorado’s 3-0 non-conference start, which included a season-opening upset of Texas Christian University, sports pundits argued that Sanders should be the next coach of the Dallas Cowboys, should be offered $100 million by Colorado, and should be the top choice to replace Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M. In just a handful of months, “60 Minutes” commissioned two separate profiles of the future coaching legend.

Why build something sustainable at Jackson State, a school with a $57 million endowment, when you can be celebrated for generating revenue for Colorado, a school with a $2 billion endowment?

Coach Prime started the football season demanding that members of the media believe in him and blustering about keeping receipts. Today he’s bunkered in Boulder trying to figure out how to avoid a loss in the “Last-Place Bowl.”

As of today, Vegas oddsmakers favor the Buffaloes securing 12th place. Deion is getting five points.

What will the media establishment do Friday night if Coach Golden Calf locks up last place?

We know what they won’t do: Tell the truth.

Colorado’s fall from media darling to the bottom of the Pac-12 standings is no real surprise. At no point during Deion’s 11-month tenure as CU’s head coach has he conducted himself in a manner that would produce consistent winning at the major college level. From day one, when he filmed himself telling the existing Colorado players to hit the transfer portal and boasted “I’m coming,” he has led a circus.

He’s been far more Homey D. Clown than the second coming of Bear Bryant or Eddie Robinson.

The Louis Vuitton recruits he brought with him from Jackson State — quarterback Shedeur Sanders, two-way player Travis Hunter, and safety Shiloh Sanders — significantly upgraded Colorado’s roster. But Deion has undermined those upgrades with a chaotic, distraction-riddled culture.

He leads the most penalized and undisciplined football team in all of college football. When it comes to penalties, the Buffs rank 133 out of 133 Division I teams. They average 9.5 penalties per game. That’s four more than a year ago.

When you stuff your sideline and locker room with rappers, celebrities, and media grifters, it should come as no surprise that your team lacks focus and discipline.

When you combine a circus atmosphere with a Pee Wee coach mentality and helicopter parenting of the team, you create the perfect scenario to wind up in the Pac-12’s basement.

All season, despite an inexperienced offensive line, Coach Prime has insisted on a pass-heavy, everyone-out-in-a-pattern offense intended to make his son, Shedeur, a Heisman Trophy candidate and first-round NFL prospect. The scheme has produced 12 more sacks (49) than offensive touchdowns (37). When it comes to sacks surrendered, CU ranks 132 out of 133 Division I teams.

Coach Prime’s desperate attempt to elevate his QB son has also required all-world cornerback Travis Hunter to see extensive double duty. He’s averaging more than 100 snaps per game because he moonlights as Shedueur’s top receiving target.

I know, I know, I know. I can hear the Deion worshippers in the comments: “You’re too hard on Coach Prime. The Buffaloes only won one game last year. What did you expect?”

I expected the media to do its job and provide context for sports fans to properly evaluate “The Miracle in Boulder.”

Four wins are not a miracle. That’s standard. In seven of the previous eight seasons before Deion Sanders arrived, Colorado won at least four games. Last year’s one-win season was an aberration.

If you look beyond a single season, you could make a compelling argument that the program Jedd Fisch inherited at Arizona was in worse shape than the one Deion inherited in Boulder.

Plus, no Power Five coach before Deion has ever been authorized to run off his entire roster. Deion is a mercenary coaching a group of transfer-portal mercenaries. He’s not leading a miracle revival. He’s running a demolition derby. The goal isn’t to rebuild Colorado football. The goal is to burnish a brand that profits Deion, Shedeur, social media influencers, and television networks.

The “Miracle in Boulder” is really the next iteration of MTV’s “Real World Boulder.” Coach Prime is “Puck,” the troll from MTV’s “Real World San Francisco.”

The goal of every “Real World” cast member was to use the show to increase his or her fame. That’s all Deion is doing at Colorado. He’s pretending he’s there to help kids and empower aspiring black coaches. He’s throwing a giant party for black elites. There is nothing black elites relish more than integrating white spaces and isolating themselves from the black masses.

Wakanda is for the movies. It’s a fantasy no black elite has any interest in seeing happen. It requires too much work. Why build something sustainable at Jackson State, a school with a $57 million endowment, when you can be celebrated for generating revenue for Colorado, a school with a $2 billion endowment?

Most people would choose the same path as Deion. It’s easier. It’s a lot more fun. It’s safe. There are no real expectations for him at Colorado. He can finish in last place in his conference and it will be hailed as an amazing success. The television networks need his clownish persona for ratings, so ESPN and Fox Sports will avoid legitimately scrutinizing his performance. Black people are so ruled by racial idolatry and celebrity worship that we will reject any uncomfortable truth revealed about Deion.

Deion can’t lose Friday night. No matter the final score or final standings, Coach Prime is the biggest winner of the football season.

In a society that no longer values merit, the biggest losers are the predetermined winners.

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