Letterman Responds to Jihadist Threat With Hilarious 'Who Hates Dave?' List

On Monday night, "Late Show" host David Letterman made lemonade out of...jihadist lemons.

Responding to a slightly horrifying Islamist threat (our report last week covered radical Umar al-Basrawi's call for Letterman's tongue to be cut out and, ultimately, for him to be murdered).

Rather than cowering in fear, the late night host decided to make light of the bizarre declaration. So, upon returning from his vacation, he unleashed his hilarious "Who hates Dave?" list. He quipped:

"Tonight, you people are...more than an audience. You're more like a human shield."

Then, he launched into a list of all of the people, in addition to this disgruntled jihadist, who simply can't stand him:

Then, for his "Top 10" list, Letterman shared his first thoughts after hearing about the jihadist threat on his life. Here they are, in order:

10. Someone wants to silence me? Get in line.

9. Nothing says summer fun like a death threat.

8. Why is the staff in such a good mood?

7. Save me, Oprah.

6. Should I wear my Kevlar hairpiece?

5. And here I thought nobody watched the show.

4. How can someone be so angry at a time when Kim Kardashian is so happy?

3. Some people get Emmy nominations; some people get death threats.

2. This seems like (Jay) Leno's handiwork.

1. Oh my God! They canceled the George Lopez Show

At least the comedian is laughing rather than panicking, right?