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10 facts northeasterners learned from Hurricane Irene

For many you, especially those of you who live in areas that are prone to hurricane activity, this stuff is old hat. To us northeasterners though, a hurricane is a somewhat exotic event. Here’s an incomplete list of what some of us have taken away from experiencing Hurricane Irene:

1. If it doesn’t run on a C or D battery, it’s useless. Everyone seems to figure this out before you do.

2. The radio with the hand crank might fulfill your survivalist fantasy, but you could have saved yourself the effort had you figured out #1 sooner.

3. When someone else’s window breaks, it’s economic stimulus. When your window breaks, Paul Krugman is an a******!

4. You shouldn’t worry about filling your bathtub with water. Mother nature will be kind enough to provide you with about 2 feet of it in your basement.

5. No matter how diligent you are in removing possible projectiles from your yard, all manner of debris can still travel the 20 feet from your inconsiderate and unprepared neighbor’s yard to your side window. Note to self: The Henderson family should not get a Christmas card this year.

6. When boarding up your windows, make sure the boards are on the outside. They’re pretty much useless otherwise.

7. Remove leaves and dirt from your gutters prior to the storm. The rain is still going to penetrate your house like it’s a sieve, but you were looking for a reason to subject yourself to a potentially neck breaking fall off of a 12-foot ladder anyway.

8. When buying candles for the utilitarian purpose of sight, be sure to buy unscented. The only thing worse than being trapped in a house is being trapped in a house that smells like a Bath & Bodyworks.

9. Al Gore invented the Internet so we could constantly hit refresh on Weather.com and keep track of the effects of his other invention, global warming.

10. Writing 10 Facts Northeasters Learned from Irene is not as much fun the second time around. Remember to continuously save your work because, surprisingly, extremely high winds can cause power outages and lost Word documents.

One last thing…
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