If you don't know what Groupon is, it's a mass-coupon deal that goes out to subscribers in different cities. Every day is a different deal and if enough people say they'll purchase that day's deal, it goes into effect.
Yesterday's deal in Chicago was for a "bedtime tuck-in" from a man named Ben Kobold.
Scary. But it's even scarier that at the time of this post two people have purchased the deal (looking at you, Mr. Sandusky)
Alas, it turns out Kobold is a writer for Groupon.