And now, a news update from progressive paradise

Detroit -- quite literally a modern-day Animal Farm:

Researchers for the Michigan Humane Society have concluded that more than a dozen animals found slaughtered last week on an urban farm were killed by wild dogs and not humans.

On Friday, authorities learned of the shocking discovery of the mutilated remains of five goats and eight chickens on the grounds of the Catherine Ferguson Academy, located in the 2700 block of Selden on the city's west side.

Students at the academy, a charter-operated high school for pregnant girls and teen mothers, provided care for the animals. A volunteer who helps students take care of the farm found the animals Friday morning.

"We've been working on this ever since the dead animals were discovered last Friday," said Mark Ramos, senior investigator for the humane society's cruelty investigations department, on Tuesday. "Our veterinarian conducted necropsies and … determined that all the animals killed there suffered dog bites. At this point, it's hard to determine if it was one dog or multiple dogs."

According to Ramos, two chickens survived the attack and are being carried (sic) for by the humane society.

"We found a dead cat on the scene but determined that it had died before the attack," Ramos said. "We searched and found holes in the fencing around the property. The animals were mostly kept in pens but some were able to move about. We haven't been able to discover if the gate for the goats was open or closed at the time of the incident."