Paranoid military officials in Iran claim lizards are spying on their nuclear program

Lizards are apparently spying on the Iranian regime, according to the multiple reports. The Times of Israel reported that the paranoid regime believes that Western enemies are using lizards to spy on their nuclear program.

The Times of Israel reported that “Hassan Firuzabadi, senior military adviser to supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was responding to questions from local media on the recent arrest of environmentalists.” To which he mentioned:

Several years ago, some individuals came to Iran to collect aid for Palestine… We were suspicious of the route they chose.

In their possessions were a variety of reptile desert species like lizards, chameleons… We found out that their skin attracts atomic waves and that they were nuclear spies who wanted to find out where inside the Islamic Republic of Iran we have uranium mines and where we are engaged in atomic activities.”

The spy’s attempts “failed every time,” he continued. The Times reported that this announcement came in response to Kavous Seyed Emami’s suicide, a member of a wildlife NGO who was arrested last month.

Israel has been accused of using members of the animal kingdom to spy on countries as well.

James Andrews, a scientist at the Vermont Amphibian Atlas told Newsweek, “The claim that lizards ‘attract atomic waves’ is nothing that I have ever heard of, and it sounds totally bogus to me.”

Two years ago, it was reported that Lebanese citizens caught a griffon vulture with a tracking device only to find out it was being used for research.

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