Healthy as a horse: My journey into the ivermectin underworld

I was driving through Boise last winter when I heard about a new Idaho law that made the drug ivermectin a legal, over-the-counter drug.

Previously, it was prescription-only. But most doctors refused to prescribe it.

Like many people, I had taken illegal substances as a youth. Horse paste wasn’t technically illegal. But it sure felt like it was, holding it in my hand.

Soon, in Idaho, you could buy ivermectin off the shelf at Walgreens, just like you bought aspirin or dental floss.

Iver-who?

Ivermectin, in case you forgot, was thought to help cure or at least lessen the effects of COVID-19.

It was weird hearing about COVID again. It seems like nobody thinks about it anymore. We never hear about new studies or recent findings about the virus.

Have we mastered all the ins and outs of COVID? It doesn’t seem like we have. People report having “long COVID.” Is that a real thing? Nobody knows.

One thing you would think they would have figured out: Does ivermectin help against COVID?

People are still getting the virus, I assume. Do doctors ever prescribe ivermectin? And then report on the results?

If a drug is so controversial that states are writing laws about it, shouldn’t someone know if it works?

This could be a Big Pharma issue. The big drug companies don’t want people taking a cheap drug someone else invented over an expensive drug that they invented (and will make money on).

That would be the cynical view, I guess.

Meanwhile, medical people still want you to get vaccinated against COVID. Is that still the experimental vaccine from before, or do they have a new one yet that isn’t experimental?

And how is that experiment going, by the way? I guess it’s going well since you never hear about it. People don’t seem to be dying. Or even getting seriously sick. So that’s good.

Idaho fought the law (and Idaho won)

I was curious about this Idaho law, so I looked into it. I came across a funny quote from one of the state legislators. He said the biggest surprise during the writing of the ivermectin bill was that so many of the other legislators were already taking it.

He didn’t go into detail, but I assumed they were buying it in “horse paste” form. At that time, that was the only way you could get it.

I remember when I first heard about ivermectin. The rumor was that the Japanese had discovered/invented a new wonder drug. And it might cure COVID!

If you looked it up, you learned that the developers of ivermectin — one British guy and one Japanese guy — won the NOBEL PRIZE IN MEDICINE in 2015. These two were thinking of ivermectin primarily as an anti-parasitic.

But people on the internet were claiming ivermectin could possibly do more. It might help with cancer. It could lessen arthritis. And most important: It might prevent people from getting COVID.

Many scientists had proclaimed ivermectin the most important and versatile medical discovery since penicillin. Others said: “If you’re not a horse, don’t take it.”

Hay is for horses

As the COVID pandemic dragged on, demand for ivermectin increased. People wanted to try it. They didn’t care what the establishment scientists said.

Ivermectin pills for humans did exist. But you had to order them from shady-sounding companies in third-world countries. And who knew if the pills were even real?

So people took their chances with the horse paste. And then they wrote about it online. It didn’t sound so bad. They said it tasted like apples, which is how they got the horses to swallow it.

For me, it was the possibility of the pills that made me consider taking ivermectin. I had become sick when the lockdowns first ended. I’d been in bed for a week. Judging from the unusual symptoms, I assumed it was COVID .

Even after I got better, I felt lingering effects that never quite went away.

I thought: If ivermectin really were a “wonder drug,” maybe it would help with these lingering symptoms. And maybe it would prevent other maladies in the future.

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Jennifer Kosig via iStock/Getty Images

Yea or neigh?

So I called a Walgreens in Boise and asked if they had ivermectin pills on the shelves yet. The person on the phone, a young man, immediately began making jokes and mocking the governor and the new ivermectin bill. He called Governor Little, “Governor Spittle.”

When I persisted, he said that they didn’t have it yet. And he didn’t know when they would. He thought it would probably be a long time. If ever.

So I went online to see if ivermectin were listed at any other Idaho pharmacy websites. It wasn’t.

Eventually, I found a package of 12 tablets on an obscure website overseas. But it was no longer available and was very expensive.

It seemed clear that it would be a very long time before the pill version was available to the public.

But by now, I’d become excited about ivermectin. I’d been watching videos about it.

So then, just for fun, I looked up the horse paste on Amazon. It was much cheaper than the pills. And on YouTube, there was a doctor who had figured out the human doses and how much to take.

I laughed at myself. WAS I ACTUALLY CONTEMPLATING ORDERING IVERMECTIN HORSE PASTE OFF AMAZON?

And then I ordered it.

Golden goo

A week later, it arrived. I opened the box, and there was the same long, plastic syringe and plunger arrangement I’d seen on YouTube.

Like many people, I had taken illegal substances as a youth. Horse paste wasn’t technically illegal. But it sure felt like it was, holding it in my hand.

I went in the bathroom and washed and dried my hands. In the bright bathroom light, I opened the top of the ivermectin tube. I then carefully, slowly pushed on the plunger end of it.

A small blob of golden goo came out of the top. I carefully scooped the “pea-sized” human dose onto my index finger. To avoid tasting it, I put my finger in the far back of my mouth and smeared it on the back of my tongue. But that was unnecessary. It didn’t taste bad. It tasted like apples.

According to the British doctor, you were supposed to take this small amount on one day, then wait a day, and then take another small amount on the third day. After one month, you do that again. And then, presumably, you keep doing that ... forever?

I did it for two months, keeping track in my day planner. Then I got busy, and I forgot about it, and a couple months later, while digging around in my bathroom pantry, I found the plastic syringe.

Should I continue with the horse paste regimen? I wondered to myself. I took a dose. But then I forgot to take the second dose two days later. And it’s continued like that. Sporadic. Whenever I remember. Which is probably fine.

Back in the saddle

Since then, I have noticed that some of my odd COVID symptoms have significantly lessened. Is it the ivermectin? I don’t know. Probably not.

My dad was a doctor. He was old-school and thought your body did most of the healing. Not the drugs. Not the doctors. So maybe that’s what happened. My body was healing itself.

Anyway, I don’t regret doing it. The whole process was kind of fun. And now, whenever I see a horse, I give him a knowing nod, as if to say, I too have enjoyed that sweet apple horse paste.