Pride Month canceled due to White Boy Summer

Pride Month is officially canceled due to White Boy Summer.

It’s that time of year again. Election season is heating up. President Trump was just found guilty after a clearly biased trial in New York. The political scene is feeling rather chaotic at the moment.

WBS is really just about kicking back, enjoying quality time with loved ones, joking around, and going with the vibes.

It’s also that time of year when corporations pander to our social justice overlords and paint progress flags on doorposts of their superstores to celebrate this new religious holiday they call “Pride Month.”

But 2024 feels different. There’s a certain energy out there. The winds are shifting, and everyone can feel it. In recent months, defenders of all that is good and normal have emerged from the sidelines and spoken out.

NFL Star Harrison Butker going viral for his speech promoting Christian values, college frat bros defending the American flag on campus, severe backlash to DEI policies following pro-Palestinian protests. Recent doxes against anonymous accounts on our side backfiring in spectacular fashion.

The list goes on and on. Enemies want us demoralized, but it seems quite the opposite is occurring despite their best efforts. Most regular people are getting sick and tired of this dystopian reality our rulers have unsuccessfully attempted to force on us.

And what better way to express this rejection of their idols than by embracing White Boy Summer?

Chet Hanks, the man responsible for founding WBS and turning it into an internet sensation, indicated 2024 could be the biggest WBS to date. “I have consulted with the heavens, felt a westward breeze, and saw my shadow. This will be a #WBS,” he wrote.

Those who aren’t terminally online might ask, “Ok, but what IS White Boy Summer?”

WBS is really just about kicking back, enjoying quality time with loved ones, joking around, and going with the vibes.

Your itinerary for this WBS should include but is not limited to:

Tubing at the lake, tanning by the beach, having a few (or many) cold ones around a bonfire, road trips across the country with the sunroof down, cookouts with the boys, playing sports, running around, lying under the stars, jumping into a pool, enjoying a crisp breeze while lying in a hammock, attending fun events, listening to live music, hiking through the mountains, and so much more.

Pro tip: These activities get even better when one is wearing cool shades and popping a few 6mg ZYNs.

There's simply no better way to show support for LGBT: Liberty, Guns, the Bible, and Trump.

Don’t give in to the doomsday news cycles or the Debbie Downers. Get outside and have fun. Seize the day. Be a happy warrior. It’s officially WBS!