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Progressivism is a cult, reason #7,816

We live in a world now where Facebook employees are monitoring the social media site for emoji hate speech. Seriously. Grownups got in a room and determined this was a wise and noble use of their time. Because progressivism is cancer.

According to Business Insider, emojis that could indicate hate speech include a rainbow flag, various animal emojis, and a fist. Emojis that could be related to "sexualized text" include a tongue, an eggplant, a peach, and a hot dog.

So what animal emoji should I use to tell you guys over at Facebook to stick that malarkey where the sun don’t shine? Wait, don’t answer that. I’ll just keep trying them until you twits flag me, and then I’ll know. This will be fun.

Hold on a second, though. I think I’ve found another double standard in the progressive mind meld. I was just told by Samantha Bee, when she returned to her show following her c*nt-shaming of Ivanka Trump, that “civility is just nice words. Maybe we should worry more about the niceness of our actions.”

That would seem to indicate that no amount of emojiing, whether it be of eggplants or ferrets or rainbow phantasms, can possibly break your bones or violate your safe space. It was a “sorry, not sorry” apology if there ever was one.

Because free speech, baby! That’s how you get those “nice” actions after all, like the right to kill babies with impunity and shutting down businesses that think Jesus is cool and follow his teachings. You “nice” them into oblivion until they are “nice” just like you. Or else.

Where does this leave us? On the one hand, we have the very progressive people who invented the poop emoji telling us that emojiing can be tasteless and wrong. On the other, we have another progressive stating that harsh speech really isn’t the problem at all and may in fact be required to give birth to a brave new world.

If that sounds schizophrenic to you, that’s because it is. Which means the progressive party line, which is as zealously religious a party line as any in the current cultural debate, is staying right on target.

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