Let's disqualify Matt Cain's perfect game from last night

Chances are you’ve already read about Giants pitcher Matt Cain's perfect game Wednesday night. And you've probably heard that, other than being a damn fine performance on the mound, it was a first for the team. No Giants pitcher has ever thrown a perfect game before.

“Matt Cain pitched the 22nd perfect game in major league history… striking out a career-high 14 batters and getting help from two running catches to beat the Houston Astros 10-0,” reports the AP. It adds, “Cain's 125-pitch masterpiece featured a pair of great plays by his corner outfielders, and he got pinch-hitter Jason Castro on a grounder to third for his 27th and final out with the sellout crowd of 42,298 roaring."

A first for the Giants and a great game by Cain. We should all enjoy this piece of baseball history, right?

Wrong!

If there’s one thing I learned from Johan Santana's no-hitter, it's that the only thing better than a magnificent pitching performance is sucking the joy out of it.

Remember that? New York Mets pitcher Johan Santana threw a no-hitter two weeks ago (a first for his team) and a bunch of people jumped on the "put-an-asterisk-next-to-his-name-because-the-ump-made-a-lousy-call-in-the-6th-inning" bandwagon, which, by the way, is one helluva' hyphenated bandwagon to be a part of.

Seriously, people are arguing that Santana didn't really pitch a no-hitter because an umpire made a bad call in the 6th inning. Hell, some have even implied that the ump purposely blew the call because he was in on it.

Okay, first, the "lousy" call was made in the 6th inning, long before it became clear that Santana was on his way to a no-hitter. Second, "bad calls" are part of the game. Third, go to hell.

But back to Cain's game.

Because I'm a journalist practically dripping with curiosity (good luck getting that image out of your head), I want to see what it’s like to go through life ignoring greatness for petty and made up technicalities. I want to know what it's like to watch someone pitch the best game of their career and say it "doesn't count" because I don't like how the umpire called the game. I want to know what it's like to go through life hating sunshine and the laughter of children.

Therefore, I’m going to go back and review Cain’s game to see if there’s any way it can be disqualified.

Okay, not really. But you get my point.