The winners:

"I said pull my finger or 1776 will commence again!"-- LABGUY31

"The right of the people to keep and wear Jimmy Choos shall not be infringed!"-- POLITIGOD

Runners-up after the jump...:

“And did you know, that if you read the Constitution backwards and substitute the word ‘chicken’ for ‘people’ it’s really just a smokin’ good soup recipe?”-- PAXVOX

“Take your pedophilic stinking commie hands off my hernia you gold leaf-wrapped baby eater!”-- HUGGINGMYBABIES

"You’re in danger! You’re in danger! They’re POISONING your WATER! Do you hear me? You’re in DAAAAAAAANGERRRRR!"-- PUNKEYMONKEY

"That’s right! I am wearing a denim shirt with jeans. It’s totally acceptable, too. In fact, my denim jacket is being x-rayed right now!"-- HEYBLINKIN

“Ya gotta let me through! I’ve got a UFO to catch!”-- CAPT_GREGG

"Have you not seen Project Runway Kentucky? This is a very fashionable suit and I don’t need your pedophile, kidnapping hands all over it!"-- BRANDONVPHOTO

"NO dang it! I’m not ED SCHULTZ!"-- ANOTHERCOMMEN