The Onion does mass shootings

An all-too-depressing bit of satire from The Onion:

Though admitting that it “took a while to come around,” members of the U.S. populace—clearly straining to throw their support behind mass murder—told reporters they are totally into and have indeed fully embraced deadly public shootings as part of the rich tapestry of American life, akin to baseball or apple pie. ...

In what could only be described as a clear act of desperation, Americans told reporters that not only are they “all for” mass killing, but also the resulting aftermath, including rushed and often inaccurate reports of the number of dead and injured, interviews with badly shaken witnesses, candlelight vigils, and fiery, often pointless debates over gun control.