Glenn Beck had an inauspicious encounter with the local wildlife recently, saying that after a weekend of inconveniences, his house was sprayed by a skunk.
"On Saturday, our hot water goes out," Beck explained on his radio program Tuesday. "Normally that's a really bad thing, especially when you have a house full of company. But what makes it extra special is, all of our heat and everything else is run through the hot water. So ... any kind of heat -- not going to be there."
Beck said his family had resigned themselves to being "a little chilly" and smelly, when a skunk ambled over.
"The kids think this is tremendous," Beck said. "So they open up the blinds ... they don't open up the windows. The skunk sprays, like, this yellow film all over the window."
Then, Beck said, the skunk started "spinning like he's a rocket and spraying everything."
Beck said he was "literally a football field away" when it happened, and he could smell it from there.
"I'm approaching the house, because now everybody is screaming," Beck recalled. "As I approach the house, it is almost unapproachable. I've smelled skunks before. I've never been hit by a skunk before. I've never had to live in a place hit by a skunk before."
Beck said he and his family got a fishnet to try to remove the skunk from the premises without injuring it, but it was as though the skunk had "unlimited spray."
"Now he's spraying in the fishnet," Beck said with a laugh. "We take him out and release him. He sprays us. We release him, and he doesn't run into the little forest. He doesn't run. Run, little skunk. Run! He runs under the house."
Beck said that's when he reached for his shotgun.
"My daughter, who is, you know, an animal lover, she was like, 'Dad! You can't shoot the skunk.' I'm like, 'Have you smelled the inside of the house? I think we've done our due diligence here. We tried to give him an escape route. We fished him out. We got sprayed all over. We're going to kill him now.'"
Beck said initially he couldn't find the skunk, and when he could see it, he couldn't shoot.
"You're going to have to tear this place down," Jeff Fisher remarked.
"Finally, we spook him out, and he runs out," Beck continued. "I took him down. And I'm selling him as a hat -- a very smelly hat."
Beck said he recalled his grandmother saying you should "take a bath in tomato sauce" if you are ever sprayed by a skunk, so they covered the side of their house with tomato sauce -- unsuccessfully, unfortunately.
Beck said they had roughly 25 Yankee candles burning at all times and one side of their house was drenched with tomato sauce, but they still couldn't get the skunk smell out.
Fortunately, Beck said, a shopkeeper gave him a product called Odor Rex, which is for use in "death scenes" and skunk attacks.
"Today we'll put up the Christmas lights. So I'm wondering, do I do that or not?" Beck concluded. "Not sure if it's a good idea for me to be hanging lights today..."
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