A lonely generation is swiping right on machines

Today’s youth have never known life without a phone or internet access, and it shows.

Countless students have told me they are unable to be authentic with their parents or friends.

I rarely see a group of young people without phones in their hands. Texts, DMs, and Snaps are the norm for communicating, often creating shallow relationships and a false sense of community. This shallowness makes young people vulnerable to exploitation, which is why we must sound the alarm on the danger of using AI for friendship.

Nothing can, or ever will, replace the authentic, real love and hope found in other human beings.

As someone who regularly speaks on college campuses and has three young kids, I have seen firsthand the younger generation’s deficiency in forming personal connections. The lack of face-to-face interaction has made it difficult to engage with people outside the digital world — from avoiding job applications or being reluctant to introduce themselves to strangers to a general rise in anxiety in everyday life.

It’s no wonder we have a loneliness epidemic plaguing today’s youth. Between 17% and 21% of people ages 13 to 29 reported feeling lonely, according to a World Health Organization study, with the highest rates among teens.

In the midst of this epidemic, a growing number of young people are turning to AI for friendship. One study found that 25% of people under 30 are turning to AI for companionship. This number shows just how integrated AI has become in the lives of younger generations. We are watching youth learn to connect to machines at the age when they should be learning to connect with people, and the cost is becoming impossible to ignore.

The connection AI provides is not genuine. It is a synthetic, fleeting companion that doesn’t produce understanding, empathy, or relatability. And the more that teens use AI, the more trouble they have identifying what an authentic connection looks like.

Younger people, like everyone else, feel the need for an outlet. Many students have told me they struggle to be open and honest with their parents or friends. They think they will be judged, lectured, or misunderstood. They are afraid to expose their insecurities for fear of rejection or judgment, so they turn to the false sense of connection in AI. But it’s an illusion. The real world is so much richer and fulfilling than the temporary relief technology provides.

For many who seek comfort in AI, the end result is a feeling of further isolation and a realization that they have failed to build genuine relationships. They are left feeling even emptier than before.

We need to counteract this false narrative and teach our kids how to build lasting relationships with other people, not machines. Our children need to understand that AI cannot replicate or replace human connections.

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Life can get tough. Sometimes we face mountains we don’t think we can climb or situations we can’t take on alone. But there are communities out there that can help those who are struggling.

I am no stranger to loneliness myself. I felt depressed and alone enough that I almost ended my own life when I was 21. Suicide is not the solution to depression or loneliness — and neither is AI. What helped pull me out was not a program or chatbot, but something far greater and far more real: my faith in Christ and the real community of people in my life.

Jesus himself spent his time surrounded by his disciples and people seeking belonging. Human beings are hardwired to be part of a community. Parents need to show their children that there are churches, neighbors, peers, and many other people in the world whom they can lean on.

AI is not our friend. Nothing can, or ever will, replace the authentic, real love and hope found in other human beings. And that is a connection that does not require a Wi-Fi signal or password.

It only requires showing up.