Squires: The true queens of drag are the 'alpha' females who've imitated men for so long that they've forgotten how to be women

If it seems like drag queens are the most discussed group in America, that’s because they are. From CNN think pieces on the country’s “rich” drag history to high school drag shows, our country seems to have found a new favorite discussion topic. There is even a rainbow coalition of prominent drag queen supporters in media and entertainment that includes George Lopez, Kevin Bacon, Dan Le Batard, and Roy Wood Jr.

Even with all of the newfound attention, it is important to remember that the most successful pro-drag movement of the past 60 years was not started by RuPaul in the 1990s or Drag Story Hour in the 2010s.

No, drag’s biggest win since the 1960s has been the feminist movement in America since the 1960s.

If drag is characterized by mimicking and embellishing the style, speech, and mannerisms of the opposite sex, then by their own admission a lot of women have been doing drag sans makeup for a long time.

“Alpha” females have been imitating men for so long that they’ve forgotten how to be women. Gloria Steinem is famous for saying that “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” but the truth is that women like her do need men. Feminists like Steinem confuse equality with sameness, which sends a signal to our entire society that the height of womanhood is thinking, speaking, and behaving like men.

Feminism is doomed to failure because it is an ideology that claims to want equality for women while rejecting the things that make women unique.

This reality was on display during a recent conversation between Eboni K. Williams and Iyanla Vanzant. Williams is a lawyer, author, broadcast personality, and former cast member of "The Real Housewives of New York City." Vanzant is an author, New Thought minister, Yoruba priestess, and star of the show "Iyanla: Fix My Life" on the Oprah Winfrey Network.

One part of the interview caused a stir online after Williams lamented the limited options educated and upwardly mobile women like her have in the dating pool. Vanzant asked Williams whether she would date a bus driver, and after a long pause, the host said, “If he owns the bus.” The message from that exchange was quite clear: Many women with extensive education and high earning potential see a relationship with a blue-collar man as “dating down.”

A common refrain you will hear from some of these women is that men are “intimidated” by their accomplishments. That may be true for some men, but what happens just as often is that the women change how they operate in the relationship and interact with men based on their credentials. They confuse occupations with roles. A woman who is used to being in charge may have a hard time turning that off at home with a husband who wants to fulfill his responsibility as the head of his home.

The exchange struck me for personal reasons. Most of the men I grew up around as a kid in New York were tradesmen. They were carpenters, electricians, plumbers, and men in transportation. Some of the men also had college degrees, but they all worked with their hands to build and create. These were men who loved God and loved their families. They epitomized the model of biblical patriarchy found in Proverbs 13:22: “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous."

Williams, to her credit, seemed open when Iyanla Vanzant told her dismissing a bus driver was a problem. But that wasn’t the only issue related to relationships in this conversation.

Iyanla Vanzant reflected on her life as an alpha female and said she was a horrible mother, but a great father to her children. She meant that she did the things society expects men to do for their children, including providing for them and instilling discipline, order, and structure.

But the problem with this assessment is that a woman can’t be a father and a man can’t be a mother. One of the reasons the gender wars within the black community continue to rage is because our households are out of order. Some cold, abrasive, and unloving mothers who curse at their sons think they are giving them the type of tough love they should be getting from their fathers. What these women are actually doing is training their sons to resent women when they get older, even if they feel physically attracted to them.

Another part of the problem is the notion that women are “goddesses” in some sense. I have to assume a man will have issues in his relationship with a woman who sees herself as divine. Maybe the claim of black female divinity is why the founders and leaders of Black Lives Matter preferred relationships with other women. Perhaps the reason why there are so many single goddesses is because their self-enthronement always comes with a rejection of biblical order for relationships and marriage. Female deities don’t waste time with men who are mere mortals.

This type of talk makes my skin itch, largely because I prefer clear, unambiguous language to therapeutic pseudo-spiritual jargon. But there is a bigger issue at play here: Self-worship is idolatry. People who are perpetually engaged in self-talk, always “looking within” for answers, and think they can fix themselves are under a strong spirit of delusion if they think they are their own savior. This is one of the most important distinctions between Christianity and the “spiritual, but not religious” movement.

I understand what people mean when they talk about masculine energy and feminine energy. I just happen to prefer biblical commands to New Age dogma when it comes to how men and women should behave. In Titus 2, older men are instructed to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women are instructed to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers nor drunkards. They are also given the responsibility of teaching younger women to love their families, exhibit self-control, be kind, prioritize their homes, and be submissive to their own husbands.

For women who see themselves as “bosses," these probably sound like fighting words. That’s because a woman who speaks, dresses, and behaves like a man is the closest thing society has to reverse drag. It doesn’t seem as outlandish because our entire culture is used to it by now.

It looks like the BLM approach to relationships is failing women. The organization didn’t start this trend, but rejecting God’s order, deifying women, dismissing the importance of (living) men, viewing abortion as liberation, and cheering the destruction of the nuclear family have left many qualified women waiting at the bus stop for Mr. Right.