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Mother of Alleged Canadian Gunman Pens Heartbreaking Letter: 'Part of Me Wants to Hate Him
Josh Thomas, 20, signs a Canadian flag at a growing memorial to Cpl. Nathan Cirillo outside of The Lieutenant-Colonel John Weir Foote Armoury in Hamilton, Ontario on Thursday, Oct. 23, 2014. Cirillo was shot dead at the National War Memorial by Michael Zehaf Bibeau on Wednesday. Bibeau was killed in Parliament Hill, just feet from where hundreds of MPs were meeting for their weekly caucus meetings. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Peter Power) AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Peter Power

Mother of Alleged Canadian Gunman Pens Heartbreaking Letter: 'Part of Me Wants to Hate Him

"Words seem pretty useless."

The mother of the man who Canadian authorities say carried out Wednesday's deadly shootings in Ottawa said she "wants to hate him" and that she and her husband "are both crying for" the family of Cpl. Nathan Cirillo.

Josh Thomas, 20, signs a Canadian flag at a growing memorial to Cpl. Nathan Cirillo outside of The Lieutenant-Colonel John Weir Foote Armoury in Hamilton, Ontario on Thursday, Oct. 23, 2014. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Peter Power)

Here's the full statement from the parents of Michael Zehaf-Bibeau to the Associated Press:

Hi, I am writing this note on behalf of my husband and myself. No words can express the sadness we are feeling at this time. We are so sad that a man lost his life. He has lost everything and he leaves behind a family that must feel nothing but pain and sorrow. We send our deepest condolences to them although words seem pretty useless. We are both crying for them. We also wish to apologize for all the pain, fright and chaos he created. We have no explanation to offer. I am mad at our son, I don't understand and part of me wants to hate him at this time. You write that our son was vulnerable, we don't know, we (he) was lost and did not fit in. I his mother spoke with him last week over lunch, I had not seen him for over five years before that. So I have very little insight to offer. We don't wish to be part of any media circus, we don't think it will add anything to the conversation. Please respect our privacy although many may not feel we deserve any ... Once again we are so sorry.

Susan Bibeau and Bulgasem Zehaf

Witnesses said Zehaf-Bibeau, a recent convert to Islam, was dressed in black and had his face covered with a scarf when he shot and killed Cirillo at Canada's National War Memorial in Ottawa. He then stormed the halls of Parliament before he was fatally shot by the seargent-at-arms.

Zehaf-Bibeau, 32, had been arrested several times in the past, including on drug charges.

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