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Liberal Challenges Mike Rowe to Explain How a Christian (or Anyone) Could Vote Republican. Rowe's Answer Is Simply Awesome.

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"Think about addressing your audience as something other than 'racists,' 'reptiles,' and 'toads.'"

Mike Rowe (Image source: Facebook)

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It may soon become a well-trod adage that when you ask Mike Rowe a snarky, insulting question on his Facebook page, you might find yourself on the receiving end of one of Rowe's measured, civil, and devastatingly spot-on responses.

So it was with a decidedly left-leaning guy named Jim Green who posted a series of inflammatory points about Republicans (with a lot of ALL-CAPPED words and about the same number of exclamation points), which Rowe apparently spotted while aboard a flight:

Mike Rowe (Image source: Facebook) Mike Rowe (Image source: Facebook)

Green went on to call Republicans racists and other unseemly things, often with a pitch for a book at the end:

Why on Earth would ANYONE vote Republican? A reptile has more decency than the Republicans in Congress! Only an odious toad would pass Ryan’s budget or gut Food Stamps—and these depraved snakes made them THEIR HIGHEST PRIORITY! If only one child in America goes hungry because of the Republican’s War on Children it explains why---IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE A CHRISTIAN, AND VOTE REPUBLICAN, Amazon/Kindle

Then Green issued Rowe a challenge, asking him to "PLEASE explain to the American people why you vote/are a Republican—because for the life of me I cannot understand WHY WOULD ANYONE VOTE REPUBLICAN!"

Green's answer came in the form of "Some Unsolicited Marketing Advice From Mike Rowe at 37,000 Feet."

Hi there, Jim

Greetings, from somewhere over Colorado. It appears you’re still trying to sell some books on my Facebook page. Personally, I haven’t read them, and based on your marketing strategy, I suspect I’m probably not alone. Since part of your approach seems to involve me, I thought perhaps I might offer you some unsolicited marketing advice. I hope it’s not too presumptuous, but these tips have served me well over the years, and I can’t help but think you and your marketing team might benefit from their immediate implementation.

1. Consider starting off each blurb with a friendly salutation. In my experience, a little cordiality goes a long way, especially when you’re trying to persuade someone to give you money.

2. Think about addressing your audience as something other than “racists,” “reptiles,” and “toads.” I get that you want to be provocative, but if your goal is to sell your book, a number of well-known studies have proven it’s best not to insult your potential customers.

3. Reconsider your commitment to caps and exclamation points. These are excellent choices when warning people about a fire, a volcanic eruption, an ebola outbreak, or a looming tsunami. But I’m afraid their use in the context of a book sale implies a level of urgency that may exist only in your mind. If you really want to persuade thoughtful people that Christians can’t vote for Republicans and remain Christian, you’ll need to appear credible - not hysterical. Lower case should work just fine.

4. Consider limiting each blurb to a single entry. When you post the identical screed four times in a row, it looks very much like a broken record sounds. This will lead people to conclude that you’re either a) inept at posting, or b) deliberately obnoxious. Neither conclusion is likely to lead to a sale. Remember, most people see posts like yours as small piles of vomit that they can quickly step around. But when the same vomitus post appears multiple times, you force my friends here to slosh through a virtual lake of spew. Ironically, this will not only make more people like you even less, it will decrease the odds that someone who might actually share your world view will feel inclined to purchase your book. (I’ve deleted all of your redundant posts from this morning, but left the original. You’re welcome.)

5. Regarding your overall claim, I’m not an authority on Republicans or Christians, but last I checked, America is still populated by plenty of both. Unless you wish to alienate a majority of the country, you might consider something a tad more conciliatory. Something like - “There is no "R" in Jesus - But There’s G-O-P in Gospel!”

Finally, with respect to your "challenge," I’m not a registered Republican, but from time to time, I have voted like one. If you really want to know why, ask me in a fashion that incorporates the aforementioned steps, and I’ll try to explain it to you.

In the meantime, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike

PS. As you can see, the captain has given me some plastic wings. So clearly, I know what I'm talking about.

This story has been updated.

(H/T: YoungCons, Weasel Zippers)

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