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"Crisis pregnancy centers hide behind the fig leaf of the First Amendment..."
TBS's "Full Frontal" show host Samantha Bee teamed up with fellow comedian Patton Oswalt to rail against the "ultimate hustle" — crisis pregnancy centers, which Bee said are "full of toxic bullsh*t."
Bee dedicated a 7-minute segment of her Monday night episode to slamming crisis pregnancy centers. Rather than exploring both sides of the debate, the TBS star used the opportunity to label supporters of pregnancy centers as "assholes" and "d*ckheads."
Oswalt began the segment dressed as a magician claiming "the best cons are the lies that hide in plain sight," like God, he added. In an effort to find the "the truth and the illusion," the comedian turned to National Abortion Federation president and CEO Vicki Saporta.
"A crisis pregnancy center is a fake abortion clinic," she said. "They spread these lies to frighten women to persuade them not to go ahead with obtaining the abortion that they want. They create the illusion that they're an abortion clinic by adapting names that are similar to abortion clinics, adapting logos, fonts."
Saporta went on to say the centers lure women in by offering free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds, with the ultimate goal of "detaining" the women, adding that they "con" patients into thinking they provide "reproductive healthcare services, when they absolutely do not."
She said crisis pregnancy center workers want women to "believe" in "long-term, negative consequences" of abortion, such as issues with future childbearing, post-abortion stress syndrome and increased chances of breast cancer. Saporta said the centers will prolong waiting periods in order to subject women to "sermons," "propaganda" and "false medical information."
Portraying the scene Saporta was describing, Bee was scene dressed as a "doctor" at a crisis pregnancy center with a Bible, rosary and crucifix, all sitting beside a specula in her office. As Bee performed an ultrasound on a woman, she joked, "I hear a heartbeat," later mimicking an unborn baby trying to talk to its mother.
The video also featured "reproductive justice" leader Cherisse Scott, who blamed a crisis pregnancy center for scaring her into not aborting her son. She said she was tricked into believing she was talking with a "real nurse giving me real medical information."
She also bemoaned that she was made to watch a video while waiting in the center.
"For the animation, they show a doctor going in with clamps to latch on to the baby's head and pull the baby out," Scott said. "It was the scariest looney tune cartoon I had ever seen in my life."
Though Scott said she loves her son, she added, "If I could do this all over again, I would have an abortion."
At the end of the video, Oswalt informed viewers that the work these "con artists" to is completely legal.
"Crisis pregnancy centers hide behind the fig leaf of the First Amendment, which I guess gives them the right to trick, scare teenagers into not seeing a doctor and no one’s stopping them, the government is behind them," he said. "State governments give millions of dollars — your tax dollars — to these d*ckheads for abstinence education, even though they're educators the same way that Darth Vader was a good f*cking father."
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