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Man live-tweets epic saga of surviving 15-hour purgatory in Waffle House as punishment for fantasy football loss
June 18, 2021
Fantasy Football punishments for coming in last have gotten creative in recent years, including grown adults being forced to take the ACT standardized test used for college admissions and having to pose nearly nude in photo shoots for a calendar that was presented to the league's other owners. One fantasy football loser chronicled his punishment for finishing last in his league – spend 24 hours in a Waffle House in Mississippi.
Journalist Lee Sanderlin was sentenced to 24 hours in a Waffle House as part of his punishment for losing his fantasy football league. There was one saving grace, Sanderlin could shave an hour off his 24-hour penance for every waffle he consumed. What sounded like a boon ended up being a poisoned chalice as the fantasy football loser ate a diabetes-inducing amount of waffles.
On Thursday afternoon, Sanderlin kicked off his live-tweeting of his journey that would be full of carbohydrates, regret, and intestinal pain.
"I am coming to you live from a Brandon, Mississippi Waffle House. I, a total loser, came in last place in my fantasy football league," Sanderlin wrote on Twitter before ordering his first two waffles. "As punishment, I spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. Every waffle I eat shaves an hour off the clock. It's 4:07 Central."
I got some books, some magazines and some podcasts. And two waffles to start.— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623964092
2 down. That means two hours down. 21.37 hours left roughly. Already my stomach is rumbling. Gonna be a long one. \n\nThe staff does not believe me that I\u2019ll be here that long... little do they know— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623965094
Within an hour and a half into his carbohydrate castigation, Sanderlin managed to consume four waffles, which left him feeling "immense discomfort" and "dead on the inside," but he cut four hours off his Waffle House punishment.
Four waffles down. Been here for 1.5 hours, so that means I have 18.5 to go. I am already in immense discomfort. Please, somebody, launch me into the sunpic.twitter.com/LyyZObcmQ3— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623969596
The now-viral tweets show that Sanderlin was feeling defeated, but then sprung to life and ordered a fifth waffle thanks to someone using the restaurant's digital jukebox to play the motivational "Eye of the Tiger," Survivor's 1982 hit song and soundtrack to the "Rocky III" training montage.
And now it\u2019s Hotel California. How fitting. I can check out any time I want, but I can never leave (yes I can in 17 hours)— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623970881
waffle number 5. Just hit the 2,000 calorie mark and feeling grrrrrreatpic.twitter.com/D9nltPbKJX— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623972809
It wasn't even three hours into his Waffle House saga that he started asking his Twitter followers for thoughts and prayers. People on Twitter were "pulling" for Sanderlin to triumph over the waffles.
7:07 CT. 3 hours, 4.75 waffles down. So many hours to go— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623974879
Mr. Chillups sir with your support I\u2019m gonna order that 6th wafflehttps://twitter.com/edsbs/status/1405687851250077696\u00a0\u2026— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623977794
"Y'all they're going down like cement now, and the heart is beating real heavy-like. I'm the only non-employee in here," Sanderlin tweeted. "Got half of waffle 6 left and so many hours."
Y\u2019all they\u2019re going down like cement now, and the heart is beating real heavy-like. I\u2019m the only non-employee in here. Got half of waffle 6 left and so many hours.— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623979712
With plenty of time on his hands, Sanderlin posted his fantasy football roster that got him into this predicament in the first place, which only made him want to puke.
Obviously, that\u2019s why I\u2019m going on hour 6 in a waffle house my man. If I could finish this cold, concrete ass waffle I could shave an hour offhttps://twitter.com/six8jay/status/1405718562635931648\u00a0\u2026— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623984511
After eating the sixth waffle, Sanderlin looks like he's developing heart disease in real-time. Eating the waffles becomes a Kobayashi Maru for the young man; it takes away an hour but is also rapidly changing his blood type to maple syrup.
Quick little trip to the bushes outside if you know what I\u2019m saying. Now, back into the breachpic.twitter.com/gwGvvUkeE1— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623987018
Hahaha remember when I ordered a 7th waffle? Full crash and burn. Not gonna finish it. My body is in revolt/shutting down. It\u2019s time to sit out for a while. Gotta rest up for the stretch run. Right now I\u2019m on pace to leave 10:07 a.m. CT.— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623992548
Sanderlin, who is an investigative reporter for the Clarion Ledger, quickly finds out that nothing good happens at the Waffle House at 1 a.m.
We\u2019ve entered peak boredom hours. All the staff went out for their smoke breaks. This Waffle House doesn\u2019t feel like a waffle home with no one herepic.twitter.com/jv2epLvvvi— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1623998881
Sanderlin makes an early morning rally, and attempts to eat two more waffles. The suspense and Sanderlin's BMI increase.
Let\u2019s do itpic.twitter.com/FN0CBsrijn— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1624014553
All that stands between me and going home in the next 30 minutes. So damn close.pic.twitter.com/2EgD4Dajdv— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1624015614
After nine waffles and 15 hours in Waffle House purgatory, Lee Sanderlin did the unthinkable. Mission accomplished. Fantasy football punishment successfully satisfied.
And we\u2019re outpic.twitter.com/79Er4rBxdP— Lee Sanderlin (@Lee Sanderlin) 1624018011
The 25-year-old gave sage advice to all his adoring fans, "I recommend absolutely no one do this."
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Paul Sacca is a staff writer for Blaze News.
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