NYC health officials — with nothing else to worry about apparently — update COVID-19 safe sex advice: 'Make it a little kinky'

In the wake of massive George Floyd riots and protests in New York City — which far-left Mayor Bill de Blasio endorsed while still outlawing other gatherings as dangers to public safety amid the coronavirus pandemic — city health officials somehow found time to update their guidance Monday on safe sex in the age of COVID-19.

'Make it a little kinky'

"Make it a little kinky," officials advise. "Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact."

Officials also suggest wearing a face covering or mask. "Maybe it's your thing, maybe it's not, but during COVID-19 wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of ... protection during sex."

Because after all "heavy breathing and panting can spread the virus further, and if you or your partner have COVID-19 and don't know it, a mask can help stop that spread."

"If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a break from in-person dates," they add. "Video dates, sexting, subscription-based fan platforms, sexy 'Zoom parties' or chat rooms may be options for you."

In case you're wondering, "Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread the virus. Virus in feces may enter your mouth and could lead to infection."

The art of being your own bestie

"You are your safest sex partner," officials note. "Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex."

They add that "the next safest partner is someone you live with. Having close contact — including sex — with only a small circle of people helps prevent spreading COVID-19."

'Large gatherings of any type are not safe during COVID-19'

Health officials also said, "Large gatherings of any type are not safe during COVID-19" — hello, protests? — and that "close contact with multiple people should be avoided."

Officials also advised against kissing when in a large crowd and to "pick larger, more open, and well-ventilated spaces."