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Rand Paul roasts politicians in annual Festivus 'airing of grievances'


'I've got a lot of problems with all of you people and impeachment.'

(Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) has made an annual tradition of airing his grievances against government waste to celebrate Festivus ("for the rest of us"), a made-up holiday that entered the American lexicon thanks to Seinfeld.

But in a Twitter thread on the Christmas Eve Eve kickoff, the libertarian-leaning Republican roasted politicians and public figures on both sides of the aisle in an epic thread intertwined with his regular revelations of federal spending run amok.

What are the details?

"I feel like we have to start with impeachment, don't you?" the senator wrote. "I've got a lot of problems with all of you people and impeachment."

"Take Nancy Pelosi (please)," Paul said, making the Speaker of the House his first target. "I don't know if I can stop laughing long enough to air my grievances with Nancy. Her new plan is great - she is going to punish the president by NOT sending his impeachment to Senate? Next, maybe she'll threaten to NOT send us anymore legislation?"

The Kentucky senator wrote facetiously, "It's going to be really hard to live with myself if I don't get to sit in a chair all day long for weeks at a time listening to people talk about Rudy Giuliani."

"Thankfully, I didn't have any calls with Rudy, or Adam Schiff would have been spying on me," Paul continued, in reference to Schiff's surveillance of a fellow House member and a journalist. "Of course," Paul added, "the real trouble would have come at Christmas dinner when my Dad asked me what the hell I was doing talking to Rudy Giuliani."

In that tweet, Paul posted a video of his father, former Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas), debating Giuliani on foreign policy during the 2008 Republican presidential primary.

Making a further dig at Giuliani, Sen. Paul wrote, "You do have to wonder how he was the best the President could think of for a lawyer - 'hey, get me the guy who spills his guts on CNN and butt dials everyone in Washington. He can keep a secret!'"

Sen. Paul also weighed in on the Democratic presidential race, tweeting, "Joe Biden is doing well. I feel like if the Democrats nominate him we are all going to discuss whether or not we should hand over the nuclear codes to someone who hasn't been able to find his keys for a while now."

"At least Joe is younger and more with it than Bernie Sanders. Bernie looks like the guy who chose the wrong cup in Indiana Jones."

Paul went on to list a litany of ghastly government spending projects supported by your tax dollars, such as a $467,000 study on frog mating calls in Panama, and $10 million to support "green growth" in Peru.

The Republican also teased his colleague and fellow Kentuckian GOP Senate Majority Leader "Cocaine" Mitch McConnell, and later joked about President Donald Trump, saying, "I get teary eyed on Festivus when I think that it was created by Frank Costanza, and that Trump is President. It just shows you that a loud mouth from Queens who airs his grievances constantly can do or be ANYTHING in this world! You can do it too kids."

Anything else?

At the heart of Sen. Paul's messages was his explanation for voting against the recently-passed spending package rushed through Congress and signed by President Trump.

"Just last week Congress passed (without my vote) a massive, 2,000+ page omnibus bill that spends nearly 1.4 trillion dollars. Members had less than 48 hours to see it. It contained dozens of other random pieces of legislation too."

"This is considered normal business by leaders of both parties," Paul wrote. "It's why we have a 22 trillion dollar deficit. It also shows why your government is - I don't know how else to put this - very very dumb."

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