‘I was a murderer’: From multiple abortions to redemption in Christ

When Christian content creator April Chapman was practicing the prosperity gospel, she was able to bury her sins — which consisted of multiple abortions — without fully understanding what she had done.

It was only when she discovered the true gospel that she was able to see clearly and ask God for forgiveness.

“Post-abortive women do a very good job of suppressing the truth and their unrighteousness, just trying to block it out and filling the emptiness and the guilt and the shame with other things,” Chapman tells BlazeTV host Allie Beth Stuckey on “Relatable.”

“I had several years of doing that, bad relationships, you know, just trying to find some sort of way to silence the pain that I was experiencing,” she continues. “It caused me to double down with a feminist mindset.”

While Chapman knew being a pro-choice liberal was incompatible with scripture, she had reconciled in her mind that “it was somehow OK.”

“Once I got saved, the Lord brought those things back to my remembrance and allowed me to go through a series or a season, I would say, of healing. But you first have to acknowledge that what you did was sinful. You have to say the words, ‘I was a murderer,’” Chapman explains.

“This was displeasing to God. That was life. Those were babies. So the first thing I had to force myself to do was to humanize those image-bearers in the womb,” she adds.

Chapman now has children with her husband, and she’s made sure not to gloss over the sins of her past when raising them.

“The best way to teach them about the sinfulness of humankind is to show them that their mama was a sinner. A lot of people can’t do that, but God enabled me and strengthened me and equipped me to do that. It’s all a part of the story and the journey,” she tells Stuckey.

“No one is beyond the point of being redeemable. The scriptures have been such a healing balm for me in that, and then God was able to bless the fruit of my womb. I didn’t think that I would ever be somebody’s mama,” she continues, noting that her second abortion was so physically traumatic that she didn’t believe it could happen for her.

Her abortionist, Chapman explains, has “harmed and maimed and injured so many women.”

“These are not chemical abortions; these are surgical ones without anesthesia. I was given a muscle relaxer that I don’t think kicked in. Very traumatic, very traumatic. And then within 24 hours, I was in the ER trying to preserve what was left of my reproductive organs. It was an incomplete procedure. I hemorrhaged tremendously,” she explains.

“The idea that the Lord blessed the fruit of my womb when I thought it could not happen — God was so faithful and merciful and kind in that,” she continues.

Want more from Allie Beth Stuckey?

To enjoy more of Allie’s upbeat and in-depth coverage of culture, news, and theology from a Christian, conservative perspective, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.